❈ invisible string ― nikolai lantsov ❈

Yizhi

Yi cleared her throat. "What?"

He languidly looked over at her, holding her gaze. "Readjusting. To your home?"

Yi swallowed and looked down. "It wasn't. . ." She didn't want to speak of any of it. He had a way with words and she knew that once she started, she wouldn't stop, and she would spiral and spiral and let her walls crumble again, the worst mistake she'd ever done. "It wasn't what I thought it would be."

She left it at that.

Nikolai raised his eyebrows but didn't pry any further. "I thought about you, Yi. A lot. Some nights I couldn't sleep."

She stared into the flames, unable to identify the stirring in her stomach. "Why are you telling me this, Nikolai?"

He shrugged, looking unbothered. "There's a demon living inside me. Many things seem a lot more appealing when your days are numbered."

"You don't mean that," Yi murmured.

"You're right. I don't. But everyone likes a mysterious king with a dark secret." He gave her a wink and she looked away, rolling her eyes.

"Let's not waste any more time." She looked down at the page in her hands. "Princess Ehri Kir-Taban."

"Second in line for the Shu throne, yes?"

"She's young, popular, and believe me, she's kind."

Nikolai stayed silent, staring at his glass. "I thought you would. . . I thought you were going to represent the Shu."

Yi's thumb fiddled with the corner of the page. "They may send us both."

"Both?" Nikolai looked befuddled at the prospect.

Yi looked down. "It doubles their chances." She forced herself to meet his eyes. "It doesn't matter. Choosing either of us as your bride would mean that Queen Makhi could easily start a civil war. It's not the best option." 

How could she speak of this as though it was that simple? How could she act like she didn't yearn for him to say something, anything, give some indication that maybe he still loved her?

They both stayed silent.

"You're right," Nikolai finally said. "Go on."

Yi felt her shoulders fall but concealed her disappointment to her best extent. "Elke Marie Smit."

He glanced down at the file. "She's barely sixteen!"

Yi leaned back, feeling her walls rising. "You're a king, Nikolai. There's no girl in the world who wouldn't lie down for a beating if it meant being your queen."

Nikolai looked into the fire. "Except you?"

Yi tilted her head. "What do you think?"

He shrugged, stretching out his long legs. The action was so simple, yet it reminded her of the thousand times she'd seen him do it, and an odd sentimental feeling filled her. "I think," Nikolai said, pouring himself more brandy, "that perhaps I would be the one lying down for you."

Yi the air go warm as her face burned. Nikolai studied her for a moment before his lips quirked upwards. "There it is. I was beginning to think you were immune to my charm."

Immediately, the flattery burnt away when she realized he'd practically been toying with her. She hid her annoyance as her eyes found the next name on the page. "Natasha Beritrova," she read.

"The Baroness Beritrova?"

Yi nodded. "That's her."

"She's fifty."