Little RainDrops |LGBTQ Story(: | by Jasmine Davis (A PREVIEW OF EACH CHARACTER)

Jamie {1}

Growing up, I learned that people truly see the world in different ways. I like to think of each person as a color, and the world as a rainbow. The lighter, brighter colors are happier and more accepting in a way, as their colors portray. The darker colors are either sadder inside or they are more dull than the brighter ones. Personally, I'd like to think of myself as white. Not quite, dark and sad, but not as happy and bright as I could be; as if I'm just floating through life, like a cloud.

Never really accepted and not really claimed by either gender, kind of like me. For most of my life, I've been alone, not really considered important to anyone, even my parents. Their over-religious tendancies left me as the last thing on their mind. As two highly catholic people, I knew I could never be myself, even after I turned 18 in a few months. Most children would agree that you really just want to be seen as worth it to your parents, and having the feelings I've had I knew no matter what happened...they'd never be proud of me...or see me as an equal for that matter....they never really did in the first place..

It was the biggest, most darkest secret I'd ever kept...I knew who I was....but no one else ever could...I never felt comfortable in my clothes, let alone my own body. I felt like an animal, caged in the darkness, unable to ever see the world through my own eyes. Through my own body....through who I really was....

I hate every part of me...from head to toe...every little detail seemed wrong. Like a sculptor tried to recreate me and capture my essence but did the opposite of who I really was. I wanted to be thrown in a furnace and burnt until I woke up the right way. The amount of times I'd almost cut was unbelievable. I just wanted to rip away the flaws....it wasn't like I didn't want to live...I just didn't want to live this way...in this body.

I was ashamed of who I was...inside and out...I'd only said the word once...trying to convince myself I wasn't...trying to erase yet another flaw my parents couldn't stand about me...I knew I was their mistake...and I just wanted to disappear...forever...until I could scream and scream and scream about who I was and for God to tell me that he loved me just the same as any other boy...girl...in the world.

I dreamt of him saying, "You are who you are, and you're perfect, and no one could change that." But of course....I'm stuck in this body...as a...boy...as an alien...