I Wanna Be Yours. | Beeduo

chapter 28.

This will mostly be stuff that I go through, so sorry if it doesn't fit well it's just writing is my therapy and I need to vent while also getting something responsible done. But I love you raindrops! 💜
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Ranboo's pov* tw: sh, mentioned abuse.

I woke up the next morning more tired than I thought I was going to be. I rolled over not feeling Tubbo there, after a moment I heard a door open.

He laid back down and hugged my waist. "Ow!" He said. "Are you ok?" I asked. "Yeah my arm hurts a lot.." He said. I sat up and looked at his arm. He quickly snatched it back before I could actually look at it.

"Bee it's ok, let me see." I said. I took his hand as he looked down and looked at his arm to reveal cuts and scars all over. How have I never noticed? I wanted to cry.

I have to help him, I can't let him go down the same path I did. "How long have you been doing this..?" I asked. "A few years, I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how and I didn't think you would care enough to actually help me..." He said.

"I'm not gonna be one of those people who beg you to stop, but I want to help you.. Can I do that?" I asked. He nodded. "Ok, uhm can you get me the thing you used to cut while I get Band-aids?" I asked, he nodded and we both got up.

When I got back he was sitting on the bed and he had a small razor blade cutting deep into his skin. "Hey no!" I said. He jumped and put it on the night stand. "Be right back but first, I'm taking this with me."

I took it off the night stand and went back down to get some paper towels and hydrogen peroxide to put on the wounds. I went back upstairs and sat beside him.

"Please don't hurt me after I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't know and still don't know how to stop but I really want to.. But please don't hurt me." He said, why would I hurt him? Oh my poor bee..

I cleaned up the blood and put hydrogen peroxide on it. "Bee I'm not gonna hurt you I promise." I said. I put the Band-aids on them and hugged him, he flinched when I leaned in and tried to push me away.

I backed off and looked him in the eyes. "What made you do this?" I asked. "I was thinking a lot last night and this morning about how you might not actually love me and how I don't deserve you at all and how my dad was right about me being a disappointment and a poor excuse of a son.. And how I'm unlovable." He said as he started to cry.

I hugged him tightly and wiped the tears from his face. "Tubbo, I love you and I can promise you there's nothing that could change that, and you're not a disappointment, nor a poor excuse of a son, nor unlovable.. Someones inability to love you dose not make you unlovable." I said.

"But about earlier when you told me not to hurt you.. What was that about?" I asked.

"I would be beaten if I didn't stop and would get grounded if I had anything sharp, so much to the point where I had to hide everything sharp I had just so I wouldn't be hurt.. And all of that added to it making it worse so now I have all of these scars.. But for some strange reason I enjoyed the pain like I felt like I deserved it." He admitted.

I hugged him and gently rubbed his back with my thumb. "You never deserve pain.. Not like what you went through, and I'm so sorry I never noticed." I said. He hugged back.

"I love you Tubbo, and I'll say that as many times as it takes for you to believe and more." I said. "I love you too.." He whispered.