Sam Imagines

Crazy Ex

I left the lift stepped out and headed down the thin corridor listening to my music as I did. I grabbed my keys from my bag and unlocked the door to my flat pushing it open setting my keys on the hook and pulling my headphones down but something felt off. I shut my door and stepped carefully around the flat looking at each open door. I don't know why but something just put me on edge. I saw muddy footprints on my doormat, and a damp jacket on my airer, and someone was there. I searched my flat from corner to corner but found no one I checked my wardrobe and under my bed but still nothing but just then I heard a creak below my countertop and I saw the cabinet door move.

"I'm warning you now get the fuck out of my house before I call the police!" I yelled marching over no response came so I grabbed the cabinet handle and pulled the door open revealing my cabinet with my various pots, pans and baking trays surrounded by them was a strange sight indeed

"Sam?" I asked very confused and shocked to see him sitting cross-legged in his tattered Nike's, his distressed jeans, and his red plaid button-down headphones around his neck he even had a small blanket and some snacks like he'd built a small nest for himself

"No" he says pulling the door shut again

"Sam, what are you doing in there?" I laughed opening it again but he shut it this time tightly not letting me open it again

"Go away, there's no one here"

"Sam I can hear you"

"No, I am... I'm the pot"

"What?"

"Go away I'm am the pot"

"You're not the pot Sam now what the hell is going on?" I sighed

"I'm hiding"

"From?'

"Lillian"

"Lillian?" I asked in shock

"She found me again"

"Damn. I hate the girl but you gotta admit she's good" I sighed "Come on out I'll close the blinds and lock the door so she can't get at you" I laughed going and shutting my blinds making sure to double lock the door and only then he climbed out slowly and sat on my sofa hugging the pillow

"How'd she find you again?"

"I don't know. I'm honestly considering going to the doctor and getting them to check if they're any tracking devices swen under my skin"

"That's a little extortionate Sam"

"This is Lillian"

"True, didn't she pull out one of your teeth?"

"No, she got into my attic like a crazed racoon and stole a box of my baby teeth"

"Why?"

"I don't know hoodoo for all I know" he says "Maybe that's how she keeps finding me? Is that a thing? Can she triangulate with my baby teeth?"

"I don't know" I shrug

"Protect me from the crazy ex" He jumped from the sofa and grabbed one of my crystals holding it close to him "Strike her down save me"

"Sam, that's not how crystals work" I laughed

He sighed "You're shiny and useless!"

"I think you need a restraining order"

"I have one she ignores it" he sighed sitting with me again

"Ohh Sam how do you get yourself in these situations"

"I don't know, I have a habit of crazy ex's"

"You do. It's fine I'll keep you safe" I laughed giving him a kiss which made him blush