Two Faces

His Addiction

On the outside, he looks to have a happy life. He has girls flirting with him and hanging off of his arm. He's the star quarter back of his high school's football team and an impressive athlete. He has friends around him. He gets good grades. His parents have money. Yeah, things look great, but looks deceive.

In reality...

He hates sports. He can't stand the sweat and being tackled. He hates getting hurt in the name of victory. But his father loves his reputation as the dad with a football "super star" for a son. He can't bring himself to tell his dad he hates it. He'll keep pretending.

He also doesn't trust his friends, and he certainly knows better than to trust anyone that may call themselves his friends. No, he's not that fucking stupid.

Sure, his parents have money and he gets good grades in school and everybody loves him, but there's one thing he cannot tell anyone.

He's gay.

Ever since his friends laughed at him when he told them about his abuse, he developed a phobia of feeling humiliated and being laughed at. It shocked him to his core.

He has to be perfect. He can't have anything wrong with him. He keeps all of his imperfections and flaws hidden. He started to become selfish, cynical, and most of all, lost any amount dignity he had left.

Stan Marsh has two faces.

The first face is what everyone sees. He puts on the best fake smile he can muster, laughs at dumb jokes, flirts with girls; etc. He plays sports to the best of his ability, despite having a bad back. Ever since his sister, Shelly, broke his back, he has trouble with all the little things such as bending over for too long or picking up large and heavy objects.

He's a good liar anyways, right? He'll lie about his pain too. He plays through the pain.

Well, almost.

"Tch...fuck." Stan uttered, with tears streaming down his cheeks as he drags the razor blade down his thighs. Yeah....this is his true face. The face that Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman doesn't know about. The face that shows all of his true pain and suffering.

Those words stung his memory. The words he hears nearly every day by someone he's supposed to call his big sister.

You're pathetic.

You're nobody.

You're going nowhere in life.

Everyone hates you.

You're better off dead.

My life would be easier if you weren't in it.

Stan can't ever forget those words that were burnt into him. He has no proper way of venting and getting his feelings out, so he chose this.