Me, Myself, and Him

My stomach always hurts. I'm hungry. I crave for anything to eat, but I go to eat and can't. It hurts like I'm full but I'm not. I walk out of the music store and start to head home. I want to collapse, but I have to push forward. I'm almost home when I collapse.

"Is she okay?"

"Is she dead?l

"What happened to her?"

"She needs a doctor!"

"Why is she so skinny?"

When I finally wake up I'm at home trying to figure out what happened. I hate laying in bed so I try to get up. That fails. Epically. I look at my table and find food. I look away disgusted and finally remember what happened. I realize now that my stomach hurts worse then ever before.

This all started a month ago. I came home from a school dance and found someone on my balcony ready to jump. I tried to stop them still having not knowing who it was, but when I walked over to them, they jumped. My house isn't that tall but we have a sharp fence below my balcony. You can just imagine what happened next. All I have to say is it wasn't pretty. I started to cry because I realized that was my sister, Carmen, who just died.

When my mom realizes I'm awake she comes straight to my room.

"You should eat something." she says before shes even in the room.

"I...Okay."

Then she leaves. I don't understand, she doesn't seem to be affected by her daughters death. It seems crazy! Its not like another Carmen is going to drop from the sky!

I look at the food again, about to eat but then can't. I don't want to die. Its just like if the devil himself was sent to torture me about her.

It was sad to imagine but tomorrow was Monday. Ugh.

I'm walking down the halls of my high school going to my last class, when I see a staircase I've never seen before. Maybe I'm going crazy. Heck, I am crazy. But when I walked up those stairs I just knew I was going to the roof. When I got there surprisingly there were other people up there. I was trying not to be seen so I walked in the opposite direction. When I got to the edge I just stared down at the ground. I could see the grass perfectly from three stories up. I was just thinking about jumping when I heard a voice.

"Please don't jump, please."

"Huh?" I turned around to see a boy I've never seen before staring at me with his eyes so wide. I already knew I was going to cry before but now I was bawling. I couldn't stop. He wrapped me in his arms coaxing me away from the edge. I obeyed not knowing what to do. When I finally stopped, he asked what I was doing on the edge of the school. So I told him everything. About my sister, about my stomach, about my mom, and about my thoughts. It felt right being with him. Suddenly, we heard foot steps walking towards us. Naturally we pretend nothing happened.

"What are you guys doing up here?" It ended up being the principal.

We got off easy. All we had to do is promise to never go on the roof again. But of course he had to call our parents. When we got out of the office it was the end of school. I was about to leave when he asked my name

"It's Eve. Whats yours?"

"Blake"

"What were you doing on the roof, Blake?"

"Doing exactly what you were."

"What?" but Blake was already walking away, ignoring me so I knew he wasn't going to answer. I had so many questions to ask him! Why were you on the edge? Why did you help me away from the edge? Do you have the same feeling in the pit of your stomach? All unanswered, all ringing in my head. Confused about everything around me, I started to walk home. While walking I had no clue where I was going. I was just walking. When I looked up I saw my house, and I just went inside. I'm about to get the worst punishment ever. 

"What were you thinking!" Yep. I was right.

"I-I'm...sorry..."

"You better be sorry!" My mom is the worst when it comes to things like this. I already know what my punishment will be. Basically I'm grounded for eternity. Also she will want to know exactly who I'm with every point of the day. No more freedom. I'm screwed. 

"I wasn't thinking...I should've known better. But trust me. I needed that. I've been dying inside since Carmen has died." She starts to walk away. Not wanting to hear what I have to say. "No don't walk away! Listen to me! You have to hear this. I don't know how you've done it but you just pushed Carmen out of your life when she died. You may feel bad inside but on the outside your showing this happy face and I'm sick of it! Just stop! It's not helping anything! You need to feel pain to get better! I've been in pain for a month! I think that any day now I could drop dead because I'm so sick."

"Honey I didn't know that's how you felt." 

"No, don't give me that crap!" And of course just at that moment my dad walks in.

"Anybody want pizza?" but then he sees our faces and says,"O...um...I'll be in the kitchen."

"No, everything is fine. We would love pizza." answer my mom. I give her a look and hopefully she understands what I mean by it. This isn't over.

20 minutes later, my dad is asking about my day, while he's shoving pizza in his mouth. I look at mom but she is already talking. "Well she was in the principals office today."

"What? What happened?" Of course she had to say something.

"Um...well...I...I was..." 

"Just say it, Honey it's not that big of a deal." Ha that's what she thinks.

"I was on the roof. I was just wandering and when I was up there the principal saw me." Why did it have to be so difficult?

"What were you doing on the roof?" 

"Can I be excused I'm not hungry."

"You barely ate anything." answers dad.

"I'm not hungry." 

"Sure." When I finally am alone in my room I feel like crying but can't. My mind is too preoccupied to cry. Which seems weird. I guess. So I grab my yearbook from last year to find out Blake's last name. I feel like a stalker but this is the right thing to do. Well, that's what I'm telling myself at least. 

When I finally find him (it's Blake Buchman in case your wondering) I log onto my computer and go to Google. Now I feel really stalkerish...Oh well. When I search his name I find his phone number, and address. Okay, I'll admit, that's REALLY stalkerish. But I copy down his number and address anyway. Next I grab my phone. I'm about to press call when I realize that maybe I shouldn't call him. But my brain has a different idea, so I click call. 

RING.......RING.......RING.......RING.......Voice mail. Darn.

Then the next thing I know I'm telling my parents I'm going for a walk. When I'm outside I find Melanie street and his house is just sitting right there on the corner. And I even surprise myself when I'm knocking on the door.

"Hello." Answers Blake. He seems to be really confused. "Um...not to be rude but how do you know where I live?" I need to remember to thank Google later.

"Uh..I...kinda....maybe Googled you?" I say shaking out my long brown hair embarrassed.

 "That would seem stalkerish if I wasn't doing the exact same thing. It seems like we do a lot of the same things.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" I say so theres no more silence.

"Sure." He turns around and shouts, "Mom! I'll be back! I'm going for a walk!" Then he turns back to me. "Okay, I'm ready."