Shadows of the Night - Brahms Heelshire x Reader [The Boy 2016]

Chapter 15: You Deserve This

You woke up this morning with a stomach ache from guilt and so you started to pace alone in your room, ignoring the fact you could sense that Brahms was waiting for you outside your door, likely confused by your sudden shift in attitude from last night to this morning. You couldn't face him yet so you spent most of the morning doing sketches for commission drawings and listening to music on your headphones loud enough to make you wince; the pain of it felt nice in your emotional state. You had also snacked on a sad little package of crackers, feeling at the moment as if you would rather have starved than be perceived.

It's now hours later and you feel incredibly anxious that somehow he will see your sins written on your face when you finally leave your makeshift safe haven. You bite your lip and groan, your heart pounding with anxiety at the thought of facing Brahms after what you did last night but you know the longer you put it off the more curious he'll be.

You briefly entertain the thought of praying for forgiveness before you leave your room but you aren't sure who you would pray to and a large part of you wants to deny your lewd thoughts towards Brahms and praying for forgiveness would be admitting that you've done wrong. You decide that you will just have to take whatever karma is coming your way silently. You look up at your ceiling, imagining the universe beyond it, and hit your chest twice with your fist before throwing a piece sign up, your way of letting the universe know that you will take your coming punishment with a good attitude.

It's a little past lunchtime when you gather enough balls to leave but you are still in your pajamas so you halfheartedly get dressed before finding yourself hesitating at your door. You are acting foolishly, you know, but you've never felt guilty like this in your life and you feel so incredibly animalistic in how you pleasured yourself last night, and not in a good way.

You grit your teeth and pull open your door, half expecting a disgusted-looking Brahms on the other side with an eviction notice or something but instead, you are greeted with a [favorite sandwich] on a plate plus a little pile of lemon candies, Brahms' favorite. You are shocked but then you smile, your eyes pricking with tears just a bit at how adorable he is. When you pick up the plate you see a folded paper under it so you grab that too before leaving your door open and sitting on your floor to eat, leaning your back on the side of your bed.

You balance the plate on your knee, sitting with folded legs as you open the paper, giggling at the contents. It's a detailed sketch of a cute bat with its wings outstretched, holding a pile of lemon candies that are falling out of its little paws, its eyes large and shining, reminding you of Brahms. Below the bat's feet are the words 'To y/n from Brahms' in an elegant script. The bat looks vaguely familiar, and as you look closer you can see stitching on its fur you realize it is meant to be a bat stuffed animal, but you don't know why a bat in stuffed animal form seems so intensely familiar so you file that feeling away for later.

You hum as you contemplate the drawing, taking bites intermittently of the masterfully made sandwich. When you are about half done with the sandwich you put the picture down and look up, stretching out your aching neck. You yelp when you meet eyes with Brahms who is kneeling silently in your doorway, obviously having been watching you for a while. He sits on his haunches, his feet pale against the wood floor. You briefly wonder when the last time he wore shoes was, and you imagine it was probably at his eighth birthday party.

He doesn't react to having been caught watching you, he's never been one to care too much about being caught doing anything really so that's not surprising. You decide not to react either so you go back to eating, not giving him any explanation as to why you have been pacing alone in your room with your drawing tablet since you woke up hours ago.

You take another bite of the sandwich, just watching him back. After a couple of silent seconds, he crawls forward the equivalent of a few steps but then stops again. The movement is very horror-movie-esque but also is reminiscent of when big cats prowl through tall grass as they stalk their prey. You find it a bit funny because in this situation you think you're more predator and he's more prey.