chris & matt sturniolo imagines

make it all go away

"Nick, I don't fucking know," I pushed his face away from me and started the van.

"Go to the hospital now!" The call hung up and my stomach dropped.

"Fuck!" I screamed and punched the steering wheel. I took a deep breath before clicking my seatbelt on and throwing the vehicle into drive, "We gotta go to the hospital."

"Matt..." Chris looked at me worriedly and I glanced at him, "Do you think she...?" We all knew Y/n struggled with depression and I was by her side while she fought with self-harming and suicidal thoughts.

"Take my phone and call her parents. Figure out what the fuck is going on before I freak the fuck out." I tossed my phone into Chris' lap and tried keeping myself calm, but I couldn't. The thought of losing Y/n was sending my mind into a downward spiral. I should've went to her house. I should've known better than to leave her by herself. This is my fault.

Y/n's pov

I wish I could say I found peace at the end of the tunnel, but unfortunately, by the sound of obnoxious beeping I heard, I didn't. My hand opened and let my fingers glide across the sheets of what I knew was a hospital bed.

"She's awake!" Jess? I forced my eyes to slowly open and groaned when the lights hit them, "Shut the light off." My sister instructed, "Hey, welcome back." I gave her a confused, cold glare and furrowed my brows, "Your heart stopped twice."

"What?" My voice was barely audible and extremely scratchy. I tried lifting my arm to reach for the cup of water, but I was physically too weak and the IV wasn't helping my mobility. My sister saw my struggling and brought the cup to me, assisting me in taking a sip through the straw.

"Thank god you're okay!" My mom rushed into the room and practically laid on top of me, causing my entire body to erupt in an uncomfortable ache, "Don't ever do that to me again!" She pulled away, grabbed my face, and kissed my cheeks repeatedly.

"Where's Matt?" I didn't really care about anything else at this moment in time. I knew if I was still alive, Matt was here somewhere. Hell, even if I would've died, he'd be here til they rolled my body out of this building.

"I'll go get him." Jess got out of her chair and exited the room, "Mom, give her space." My mother, to my surprise, listened and walked out of the room with her.

I stared at the ceiling until the hospital door opened again. Matt stood in the doorway, his cheeks stained from old and new tears, eyes burned red, and his arms crossed over his chest as he hugged himself. His shoulder trembled as he tried his best not to cry, but failed as soon as he made eye contact with me.

"Why'd you do it?" His voice cracked, "How the fuck could you just leave me like that?" I couldn't answer, because I didn't know. I just wanted to make it stop. He shuffled closer and sat in the chair next to the bed. My hand slightly lifted and when he noticed, he grabbed onto it, "You died, Y/n! Twice! You were dead!" He fell into a fit of sobs.

"Come here." I pleaded and patted the empty space next to me, "Please?" He laid in the bed next to me and I draped my arm over him, my fingers combing through his hair as he cried, "I just wanted to make it all go away." I whispered. Tears gathered in my eyes as well.

"You died. I watched your heart stop." He turned to look at me and my heart broke seeing the look in his eyes, "The doctor actually started telling us to plan our goodbyes because no one thought they could bring you back a second time."

"I'm sorry," Him explaining all of this to me made something click, "I wanted it to stop." His arms went around me and I shoved my face into the material of his sweatshirt, "I need it all to stop!" My hands tightened their grip on him the best they could as I cried.

"I can help you, but you need to let me in," He smoothed my hair and steadied his voice, "We're a team, Y/n. Neither of us go through anything alone. Do you remember making that promise?" I nodded my head, "So let me help you."

"I'm fucking broken, Matt!" I pushed away so I could look at him, "I'm lying in a hospital bed because I couldn't do this anymore. Every single day I fight the urge to end it all and today I just couldn't fucking do it anymore."

"Hey, hey," He pulled my attention back to him, "Let me in, okay? Let me help you."

"What if you can't?" I asked worriedly, "I've tried everything."

"Do you trust me?" His thumb glided across the skin on my cheek gently, wiping tears away as he did.

"Yes." I answered confidently.

"Then let me make it all go away."

———

This is probably part one of a mini series and I'm not sure how many parts it will be. I typed this 5 times and each time didn't like how it was turning out so I shortened it and didn't actually hate it.

Reiterating the fact that I am NOT romanticizing or glorifying real life struggles that people battle in their daily lives. Mental health is real and we should all be aware of that. Depression/anxiety/bipolar disorder and MUCH more are not to be taken lightly.

I want to use this mini series as a way to go through the bad to get to the good and show people that things do get better.

I love you all <3