Sorry, I Love You ☾hanglix

7

Felix stared at the letter colored with black dots and a crescent shape in the middle of it. He knew who it was the second he saw it. The moon gave it away. Felix's heart fluttered and he fell onto his bed so he could read the contents of it. Would the man have changed his mind? Did he feel the connection Felix felt? His eyes took in all the words as quickly as possible, eager to know if any of his questions would be answered.

✎

Mister Lee,

It's been some time since we last saw each other. Have you guessed who I am? I suspect not. I dare say you are quite oblivious. I find that oddly comforting these last few days.

If I should be honest with you, I never intended this game of yours to last long. Truthfully I took it with a grain of salt at first. However, after our last conversation, it seems that from now on I must take it seriously. And yes, I have had the pleasure of speaking with you. Multiple times. You'll find I am a lot closer than you may think.

You should know I still strongly disagree with the idea of love at first sight. You've yet to change my mind that it exists. Although I do believe that infatuation is an emotion that stems from curiosity. Shall I admit I may be intrigued by you? You are an odd man. To postpone accepting Lord Han for the likes of me, It's illogical.

I bet you'd argue that nothing is logical when it comes to the matter of your heart. I agree. The unconscious act of letting my barriers drop proves it. It's irrefutable evidence. I think a part of me could be putting more effort to trick you into thinking I am someone else, but I seem to genuinely want you to find me. I hope something in this letter will give you a start.

I can't force myself to confess who I am. Shame or self-consciousness, I hope to discover what pathetic fear is holding me back. In the meantime, I hope you are successful in finding me, and I hope you won't be too shocked when you do.

Sincerely,
Midnight

✉

Midnight. Felix held the letter close to his chest with a joyful giggle. Midnight, like the time when they had first met. Midnight, like the color of the sky above them. His heart yearned to reply to him. There was no way he could. He had to find him to do so.

His eyes searched for clues in the letter. He said they'd talked before and that he was closer to Felix than the farmer might think. They must have had a recent conversation. Most likely at the beach as that was where he had socialized the most. If he thought back to their first meeting, Midnight told him he'd be keeping him at arm's length. How could one be close but far?

He sighed at the puzzle he was trying to unfold. A knock on his door startled him up into a sitting position. Mister Bang peeked in with a smile. "Would you like to take a trip to the Seo Estate with me? I've business to attend to with Lady Seo."

Felix smiled politely. "I'd be thrilled."

He wasn't lying. Not entirely. He did want to see the place where Changbin lived. After the day before, he found he didn't hate the man. He didn't like him either. It was a complicated feeling he harbored for Changbin. He tried not to dig too deep into it and followed Mister Bang out of the house and toward the stables.

The ride there was as friendly as ever. Mister Bang held about as many stories as the sky held stars. He never lacked something to lift spirits with. Felix appreciated it. All the same, he got quite tired of the fact that he couldn't defend one of his opinions. He was too scared to upset the man. He found that he felt that way for everyone in Wolford, save for Midnight and Changbin.

Mister Bang went off to find Lady Seo as soon as they arrived. Felix couldn't comprehend the fact that Changbin was married. He felt bad for her. Had she done it for status and comfort? It wasn't so odd for a woman to do that. Felix was the abnormal one, saving himself for true, undoubting love. He peered into one of the rooms curiously just to scope the area out.