The Princess Bride, but it's Tears of The Kingdom

Poor, Lost Circus Performers

All of a sudden, the goron began stepping forward, heading towards the side of Zelda's horse. His facial expression was a mixture of both guilt and fear.

"Then there will be no one to hear you scream," Kogha said.

Before the princess could question what on earth was going on, she endured a sharp blow to the head, her vision going black immediately.

The now unconscious princess slumped forward onto her horse's neck, while the goron looked down on her with worry.

"Yunobo!" Kogha shouted, annoyance in his voice. "I said a quick jab to the back of her neck would be fine, I didn't ask you to knock out her teeth!"

The young goron quickly stepped back.

"Sorry boss!" he exclaimed, looking between Kogha and his other comrades. "I was just worried I wouldn't do it in one go and I didn't wanna hit her more than once and-!"

"Oh, whatever!" The masked leader grumbled to himself, marching over to their makeshift campsite and scraping up his belongings from the floor. "Someone carry her; I anchored our boat near the reeds."

Yunobo actively hesitated, seemingly frightened with going near the princess again.

Thankfully for him, the zora stepped forward and gently picked up the princess in his own arms.

"Here my friend, I've got her for you," Sidon remarked, flashing Yunobo a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, Sidon. I didn't...hurt her, did I?" the nervous goron asked, looming over the princess and checking to make sure she was alright.

Sidon let Zelda's head loll to the side so he could check her neck. By now, the gerudo girl wandered over to see the princess too.

"At the worst you'll have given her a nasty bruise, but she's still breathing, right?" Sidon spoke.

Yunobo sighed, shaking his head, while the rest of his friends embarked on the ship.

Sidon gently leaned Zelda's body against a barrel, seating himself next to her so he could watch over her.

The furious ripping of fabric filled the air as Kogha strode out of their boat's cabin and back down onto the riverbank.

He walked over to the princess's horse and stuffed the fabric into one of the straps in the reins. It was a striking shade of vermillion.

"What's that you've ripped?" Yunobo asked, boarding the ship while still keeping an eye on his leader.

"Fabric from the uniform of an army officer from Guilder," Kogha replied.

"Gil- huh?"

"Guilder you air-headed buffoon!" Kogha grumbled "You know? the sworn enemy of Hyrule?!"

The leader smacked the horse's side, causing the poor animal to take off running in the direction of the castle.

"Once the prince sees the fabric, he'll suspect that the Guilderians have abducted his love. And then he'll find her body dead on the Guilder frontier and have his suspicions confirmed," Kogha explained.

Sidon's head perked up. He'd been carefully moving strands of the princess's hair out of her face.

"Hey, you never said anything about killing anyone?" He pointed out.

The leader sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"For your information, I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work," he answered.

Yunobo looked between everybody on the ship before responding.

"I just- don't think it's right. Killing an innocent girl..." he mused, much to Kogha's chagrin.

The leader looked towards him. Despite the fact his face was concealed, the young goron could tell he was glaring beneath his mask.

"Am I going mad..." he began, stepping forward, "or did the word 'think' escape your lips?!"

Yunobo opened his mouth to respond but was very quickly interrupted.

"You were not hired for your brains you hippopotamic land mass!"

For the first time, the gerudo girl spoke up. She was leaning against the railing of the boat, mindlessly playing with the many bejeweled rings on her fingers.

"I agree with Sidon," she said, twisting a loose ruby.

Kogha threw his arms up dramatically.

"Well, look! The daughter of the sods has spoken!" He exclaimed, wandering over to her.

"What happens to the princess isn't your concern. I'll be the one to kill her," he said,

"You think you have the right to speak to me like that when you live in a town comprised entirely of irresponsible inebriates?!"

Kogha had a habit of using big words whenever he wanted to get a point across.

Riju maintained her monotone expression. Unfazed by all his yelling.

"You're lucky you're too young to drink, because when I found you, everybody in your town was so slobbering drunk they couldn't even buy a noble pursuit!" He hollered, before turning back around to Yunobo.

"And you!" He shouted, pointing a finger. "Brainless, helpless, hopeless!  Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Goron City?!"

Yunobo said nothing else; his lips were tightly pursed.

Kogha let out one more sigh before heading to the ship's steering wheel.

"Sidon! Pull up the anchor!" He shouted one last time.

Yunobo stood still where he was, seemingly confused as to what he ought to do next.

Riju hopped off the platform she stood on and walked over to him, patting him on the back.

"Don't let him get to ya' he's just grouchy," she said. "All he does is fuss."

Sidon, nodded his head, hauling the anchor over the railing of the ship.

"Fuss, fuss. He loves to scream... at us," the zora said, chuckling a little.

"But I bet he'd say, 'he means no harm'," Riju rolled her eyes, wandering over to check on the unconscious princess.

"He must be short on...charm," Sidon chuckled again, sitting back down next to Zelda.

Riju grinned at him, lightly shaking her head. "You've got such a great gift for rhyme."

Sidon returned her smile, deciding ultimately to lean the princess against his shoulder so she wouldn't fall over and hit her head on something.

"Only some of the time," he replied playfully.

Kogha let out a disgruntled huff from the wheel of the ship. "No more rhymes now, I mean it!" He shouted frustratedly.

Yunobo held back a chuckle of his own.

"Anybody want a peanut?" He asked.