Gintama x Reader One Shots

Kamui x Reader: Just Friends

"Hey, hey, look at those two! Haven't they been hanging out a lot lately?"

(F/N) frowned, leaning over to follow her coworker's gaze. Around her, a cluster of acquaintances did the same—the people (F/N) had regrettably chosen to eat lunch with that day.

"I've seen them eating together several times before," the coworker continued. "Do you think they're dating?"

"They must be," whispered another. "I saw them at the water cooler the other day, too."

"Do you see the way he smiles at her?" added a third. "They must be together!"

(F/N) tilted her head. "So...friends can't smile at each other?"

At her words, all the Harusame members' heads shot up. (F/N) stared at them, frown on her face, a yogurt spoon in her mouth.

"I don't see anything special about the way he's smiling," (F/N) said. "He's just...you know...smiling. Like people do. Is that a romantic thing now?"

(F/N)'s coworkers stared at her.

"Um...no," the first one said, "but he's smiling in a certain way, you know? It's hard to explain..."

"But how do you know that's what it means?" (F/N) said. "Different people express themselves in different ways. I smile when I'm embarrassed. Kamui smiles when he kills people. How do you know you're reading him right? Do you know him? And what about all that other stuff? Why do they have to be dating just 'cause they spend a lot of time together? How much time can you spend with someone before it becomes romantic? And why do people need to spend more time with their romantic partner than other people, anyway? It makes no sense. It seems like some kind of prison sentence to me. Like, you can't spend time with your friends because your partner needs to be your first priority? Seems kinda sketchy to me."

The table went quiet. (F/N)'s coworkers stared. A piece of squid fell out of one woman's mouth and plopped onto her plate.

(F/N) scooted her chair back.

"...And that's my cue to leave."

She shoved a few more bites of food in her mouth, and left in a hurry. Wandering aimlessly through the halls, she took out her phone, cursing the ship's horrible internet connection. There was still time left on her break. Might as well get some brain-rot in.

Finally, the page loaded, and she readied herself for a mindless binge, only to immediately flinch.

"Why can't I find an image of those characters where they're not covered in hearts and/or halfway through a make-out?" she muttered. "I just think their interactions are interesting. I don't need to see them lovey-dovey and snogging."

Sighing, she scrolled down, letting the void of the internet take her.

"Those two characters were so worried about each other! They must be in love!"

...But friends worry about each other, right?

"Look at these two! I ship them so much!"

...But he's constantly uncomfortable with her perusing him. He looks like he's gonna barf in this picture. Why are people ignoring that?

"They went to the hot springs together! They must be in love!"

...Hot springs are public places?

"They talk about each other all the time! They must be in love!"

...They care about each other? Am I not allowed to talk about my friends a lot? But they're so important to me!

"This character said this person was special to him! See! I told you he's in love! There's no way they're just friends."