In early November: [Do you know how I know we're not in a drama? I solved my existential crisis and the world hasn't crumbled.]
[That's good to know. What do you think about the news today?]
Wei WuXian's face scrunched up in a huge smile. [Celebrating the company's 25th anniversary by flying out to the US Virgin Islands for a week? Oh no! However will I manage? (faints gracefully onto the nearest velvet settee whilst keeping my skirts gracefully covering my legs.)]
[Since when did you start wearing skirts? Whilst? I didn't know you knew that word.]
[I did graduate from high school, you know. AND I did well on my SATs. I bought hanfu for Halloween and then didn't wear it to the company party because we'd already agreed to dress as mimes or you would have seen it. It's really pretty. Only two layers because it was SUPER expensive. Shiny black on matte black vertical striped silk with fire engine red under robes. For now I have to wear my own pants and boots underneath, but there's a matching set of trousers and boots in the shiny silk. No buttons, either. This is almost the genuine thing.]
[Let's have dinner together. You can show me the outfit.]
[I want pork fried rice from that American Chinese restaurant on Twelfth Ave. The rest of dinner can be authentic, but.... Gege.... That rice is toooooooooooo yummy.]
[You had a stomach ache the last time you ate there.]
[Cause I ate the whole order! Please Gege.... (smiles in puppy dog eyes) I promise to eat a proper amount.]
[You don't like dogs. You never eat a proper amount of unhealthy food.]
[I don't read a 'no' there....]
[Because I didn't write it. Give me an hour.]
~*~
In mid-December: [Your mother invited me to spend Christmas at their house.]
[Really? Will your parents be upset if you come with me? My mom goes all out. Turkey, garlic smashed potatoes, green beans thingie with almonds, baked sweet potatoes, like 5 different pies. My dad cuts down a massively fat tree every year. Well, last year he had someone deliver it, that's how big it was. And he's one of those people that lights up the whole outside of the house. Tastefully, of course, not gaudily like the guy across the street.]
[We just volunteer at the food pantry or some church dinner or food kitchen or something. You won't mind if I come?]
[Are you kidding? Of course you're welcome!!! BTWs... if mom invited you, it means she already bought you presents.... They're all gag gifts. Like socks with popcorn kernels printed on them or ties with reindeer noses that light up. There's a slight hiccup. Maybe. We have a 2 bedroom house, so one of us is either sleeping on the top bunk or the couch....]
[You can sleep on the top bunk. I don't mind.]
Wei WuXian stared in shock at that email. "You! Who said you can joke like that!"
~*~
A few weeks later, the two young men trudged through at least six inches of heavy snow from the car to the hotel lobby. "I hope they have a room available," Wei WuXian mumbled into his scarf. "Six hours of snowy roads and we're not even halfway home."
The hotel had two rooms remaining. "Both are king beds. One is three hundred and fifty and the other is four hundred." Wei WuXian snapped his mouth closed at the outrageous prices.
Behind them, another snow-covered couple stage-whispered, "I hope they pick to share one room. There isn't another hotel with a room for miles."
Lan WangJi pulled out his wallet. "We'll take the one for four."
YOU ARE READING
I Know We're Not in a Drama
Fanfiction[Do you know how I know we're not in a drama?] Wei WuXian wrote while flopped on his bed and thoroughly enjoying the cool air wafting over his body. [Carolyn brought in sodas, water, and iced teas today, and you just drank your tea like a normal per...
