Dhruv Tara - Through my eyes.

Miscarriage - Part 2

I'm sorry Tara......I failed to protect you and our baby........I'm sorry my baby. Your dad failed to protect you..........Dhruv kept mumbling to himself sitting outside the OT, completely unaware of this d world.

He came out of his thoughts when he found a familiar hand on his shoulder. It was his Maa.

He couldn't control any longer as he hugged his mother started crying like a baby.

Sushila's heart sank as she realised what has happened with Tara and her grandchild.

She wanted to cry but this time her son needed her the most and she couldn't fail him.

Mein Tara se kya kahunga maa ? Mein usse kaise nazren milaaunga maa ?...........Dhruv
His voice completely laced with pain.

Jo bhi hua uss mein kisi ki galti nahi Lalla. Tu himmat rakh apne liye aur Tara ke liye. Agar tu aise kamjor padega toh usse kaun sambhalega....... - Sushila

The doctors came out of OT and approached Dhruv. Your wife is out of danger and will probably gain consciousness in few hours but we are very sorry for your child.......the doctors left after informing him.

Few moments later he saw nurses and ward boys shifting Tara to ICU on stretcher. He wanted to go near and but his legs failed him. He just good to move from his place as guilt became too heavy for him to bear.

Dhruv went inside the OT to see his dead baby for the first and very last time. He saw body of his baby lying in a surgical tray.
Seeing his baby, his own blood and flesh, lifeless made Dhruv lose his control as he ran out because he couldn't hold it any longer.

He went to his cabin and fell on his knees, crying unceasingly.

Somehow he gathered himself and went to sit outside ICU. He asked Sushila to go home with Jai. Sushila initially refused but Dhruv insisted and Sushila finally agreed.

Inside ICU -
Tara slowly started regaining her consciousness. When she came back to her complete senses, she felt incomplete. She painfully moved her cannula ridden hand on her belly, to feel her baby.
Her blood ran cold when she found the bulge of her tummy gone.......she tried to trace her baby in the entire room.

Completely petrified she started calling out Dhruv's name.

Hearing her voice Dhruv came running inside the room and sat near her on a stool, holding her hand lightly.

Dr. Dhruv hamari santaan kahan hai ?

Bataiye na Dr. Dhruv ? Kuch puch rahe hai naa hum aapse........ humara dil baith raha Dhruv bataiye naa humein kahan hai humara baccha......finished Tara she choked on her voice, her heart knowing the inevitable.

Dhruv slightly tightened his grip on her hand......humara baccha ab hamare saath nahi hai Tara...... - Dhruv

Tara's heart shattered in uncountable pieces. She felt multiple stabs on her heart & soul. She was shocked.

Dhruv stood up and laid next to her, taking her in his arms as she cried and cried. Dhruv knew he had to be strong for her. He tried to hide his pain for her sake. She needed him the most & he couldn't fail her.

Tara got discharged from hospital 2 days later and she along with Dhruv returned home.

Cut to night after their return -
As soon as Dhruv entered their room his eyes met with all those sticky posters pasted on the walls of their room with pictures of cute little babies which was meant to mark the welcome of New Member with new joy and happiness in their life.. If it would have been a day from a month ago then he would have been rejoiced with happiness and jumped with excitement.....But..

That one uninvited unexpected and unwelcomed day turned their life upside down.....That one day marked the era of unending grief in their life......The day that eclipsed their bliss......That one unforgettable day scarred their heart and soul in an unhealing wound......The wound so raw so fresh.....The wound that kept on bleeding and weeping silently......

He located Tara sitting on swing in their rooms balcony......Curled upon herself hugging her knees and legs......He shoved away his thoughts and faked a boldness and a smile in his face but deep down his condition was not any better.......He progressed towards her......

Tara was stonefaced and lost in her deep thoughts which were nothing different than Dhruv's dreams......Dreams of a new life.......dreams of being complete as a women.......dreams of a happier tomorrow.......

Dhruv caressed her head to break her trance of thoughts.......He got hold on something which Tara  was clutching tightly close to her heart in a bone crushing hug.......He turned it to have a look on it.......It was a table calendar with a date marked on it in a heart shaped red coloured circle. He felt like somebody stabbed his heart and ripped it apart. His eyes flodded with countless tears and memories.

The marked date was supposed to be their Happiest day of Life. But not anymore. It was the date of arrival of a new life in the world which BELONG TO THEM. Which would have been a part of their soul.. Their hopes and dreams were connected with that date. But now they are left with nothing but broken pieces of their shattered dreams which pierce them every now and then.

Tara hugged him clutching his waist and rested her head on his belly and started sobbing.
He reciprocated and hugged her holding her back. He bent down to rest his cheek on top of her head. They both cried together simultaneously. Some moments passed by wordless and voiceless in uber silence. The wetness on his cloth told him about the amount of tears she shed. That amount was nothing in front of their loss. Their Unspoke Grief.