part 21 (guess who's back? back again.)

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(anytime I use this italic thing (but in bold) it means that Alina is speaking in Danish, but I am not talented and cannot speak or translate any languages- even English :)

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I didn't even realise I had driven myself home until I was sat in my car parked outside my apartment complex. The last few days were all jumbled in my head and I couldn't pick apart what had actually happened and what I had made up. (Turns out I'd actually not made up anything and it had all happened.) These things were good, times I desperately wished to relive. But the goodness came to a rough stop the morning after.

I woke up later than usual and picked up my phone, half expecting a text or two off Lauren. But none came. Instead my phone was flooded by missed calls and texts from every family member I was close with, the majority of which being from my mom. I sat up slowly, manoeuvring my pillow so I could learn against it and called my mom back.

Mom? Hi, is everything okay?

Oh Alina.

Mom? What- are you okay?

I'm so sorry, I wish I could talk to you in person. I wish this wasn't over call.

Mom you're scaring me. What's happening?

It's your father sweetheart.

What about him? He's home isn't he?

He was home yes. I didn't want to worry you while you were playing so amazingly in the Euros and because of your injury. But- he got deployed again.

Oh- um. Okay, Thank you for telling me I-uh.

Sweetheart there's more.

No. No. Why are you crying? Mom- no please, I-

I'm sorry baby. We had a letter. He was killed in action.

I-

Alina baby talk to me.

Wha- How?

An IED.

What the fuck?! He- no.

I'm so sorry.

He can't be dead. I mean he-

Take some time sweetheart. Come home if you need to. Just please don't overdo yourself. I've got to go gran's calling, but please talk to someone or come home. Please baby.

Yeah. I'll um, I'll let you know. Go talk to gran. I'll uh, I'll be in touch. Bye mom, love you.

I love you too baby.

Everything just seemed to falter at that moment. It felt as if the whole world was collapsing on me. Man City pre-season training started Tuesday, I couldn't go to Denmark, not if I wanted to play this season at all. But I couldn't leave my mom to deal with this shit. I did the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"Luce?"
"Ali? Are you okay?"
"Uh- not really no I uh- am I okay to come round?"
"Of course. You don't have to ask."
"Okay. Thanks. I'll uh- I'll see you in ten."
"Okay sweetheart."

I got changed quickly into just a pair of grey joggers and a white crop top. My body was wanting to move quicker than my head was and so it made actually getting myself out of my apartment and down the stairs a challenge. Lucy only lived ten or so minutes away, and the traffic wasn't usually bad on a Saturday morning. Lucy answered the door still wearing what I'd imagine she'd gone to bed in. She looked at me like I was speaking foreign to her, but she must've just noticed the redness around my eyes and face. She ushered me inside, sitting me down on her sofa.

"What happened? Was it Lauren? Did she do something? Did something happen?"
"No Luce it wasn't Lauren. Nothing uh- nothing happened with Lauren. It's. It's my dad."
"Your dad? He got deployed again?"
"Yeah. Uh- last week, but my mom rang this morning he- uh he was killed. In action. I-"
"Oh sweetheart."

Lucy held her arms out and I collapsed into them. My breath got harsh, and I was struggling for air.
"Hey. Hey. Look at me." Lucy said, pulling away from the hug and lifting my chin up to look at her. "Copy my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Okay? You're okay. You're okay, I've got you."
My breathing steadied, and Lucy slowly let go of me, staying close by.
"Sorry to dump all this on you." I reply, a sad smile tracing my lips.
"No don't apologise. I was confused obviously. I mean I didn't think I'd be the one you'd come to." Lucy smiled back, "Has something happened between you and Loz? Cause I suspect you'd go to her."
"No. Nothing." I said- probably a little to quickly,
"You're lying. What happened?" Lucy chuckled. I rolled my eyes at the older woman, glad of the distraction.
"Fine. I kissed her. Last night, when I dropped them home."
"I knew it! And?"
"And what?"
"What else?"
"I hate you." I chuckled, " and, she kissed me back. Twice."
Lucy's jaw slackened, "SEE? I TOLD YOU!"
"Yeah yeah, okay, no need to gloat."
"Has she text you?"
"No. Which is partly why I came here rather than going to her."
"Oh shit wait. How much did she have to drink?"
"Not loads. But- that's what I'm worried about."
"She won't have forgotten Ali."
"She might've done. I don't know how well she holds her drink. And Luce I love you but I didn't come here for advice about Lauren."
"Of course. Sorry."
"My mom asked if id go home."
"To Denmark?"
"Yeah. But it means missing training."
"You'll catch up Al. You're one of the best on the team. You scored the winning goal after being injured. Going away for a few days is nothing."
"You think so?"
"I know so. Speak to Gareth, tell him the situation, and go to your mom."
"Yeah." I nodded, "yeah, I will."  

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