Unkept Promises

Dr. Godbole's session - Part II

"You do recognize Abhiram that the words you are speaking now, and the manner in which you had responded to that situation, in which you have behaved with her all those days, is in a complete contrast."

I nodded in acceptance.

"Avantika, after that incident, how many times did you try to reach out to him, to convey your side of the story?"

Avi cleared her throat before answering, probably from the lack of speaking for such a long time.

"Doctor, multiple times and in multiple ways. Directly, indirectly, for near about three months or so. What I felt was, he might be angry on the situation itself to react in that manner. And I tried to be as understanding as I could, but seeing him not budge even a bit after all my tries, seeing him as cold and aloof as he had reacted then, I gave up."

Another punch to my gut. Why did I just not try to listen to her? My Avi, so vulnerable, so much caught up in a predicament that she had no fault in, so much in pain, and yet I was stoic, so unresponsive. What the f*ck had gotten into me that made me so cruel?

"Abhiram.", and yet another time, Dr. Godbole shook me out of my reverie.

"What do you have to say about this Abhiram? Why did you shut her out all those times?"

I struggled to come up with an answer. Dr. Godbole must have sensed my turmoil.

"See, do not think as though I am pressurizing you, but the more you speak of it, the more clearly you speak of it, the easier it would be for us to find the answers you are searching for."

"I thought doctor, I thought of my Avi and how she could not be vindictive, but then there were Kinjal's screams swirling around in my head, her cries for help, her cries of losing her child, and then there was Avantika who stood there accusing her. That picture did not seem to leave my brain."

"But still, there has to be yet another stronger reason for you to behave that way."

I stared at her, not knowing what to answer. She seemed correct, but I just could not come up with an answer which was correct and justified enough.

"Uhh doctor, if I might interject.", Avi had a hesitant look on her face.

"Of course Avantika, anything you want to contribute here."

Avi faced me. She had a somewhat calculated look on her face, as though she had grasped something, or more like, was able to recollect something which I had not been able to.

"Abhiram, during that period, as far as I am able to recollect, hadn't you on been constant calls with Kinjal?"

There, she pointed it out. Her words struck a chord with the unknowingness in my demeanour for now.

"That's right Avi, doctor. I was in a constant communication with Kinjal during that period. Not only she called me much more than she ever had, but I too maintained that communication to help her somewhat alleviate her pain."

"So that means you were always close with your sister."

I shook my head frantically.

"No, never doctor. Citing asides her childhood days when she looked up to me, was amongst us amicably, sweetly, when she was the once gentle Kinjal, I had only grown apart. She was really difficult to be around and we never had that much contact as we had in those six months. It seemed that somewhere I had once again found that Kinjal who I knew - even though it was during her supposed grief."

I chuckled. And perhaps, only I knew how painful it was to chuckle in this moment.

"What a fool I was doctor. Such a massive fool for her to manipulate easily."