london nights

2.4

final chapter :)
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caitlin decides to leave the groceries in the car, she would come back for them later.

opening the door, she leaves her jacket on the coat rack and walks into the kitchen. she finds lia staring at her phone on the table.

lia turns to look at her with a sad smile.

no scratch that. it wasn't much of a smile, more of a grimace.

"hey look-"

"i've got something to say."

they both speak up at the same time, lia's fiddling with the phone in her hands, caitlin with her bouquet.

"can i go first?" the swiss asks nervously glancing at the flowers in caitlin's hands.

"yeah, go ahead jo." she says placing the flowers onto the counter top with a light smile.

lia opens her mouth, but immediately closes it. it seems as if she's choosing her next words with care.

"we have to end this." she states bluntly, running her hand through her hair.

caitlin laughs, "what are you talking about?"

"us. we have to end us. or, like whatever we're doing, it has to end now."

lia stares at her blankly. whatever look lia gave her before, it's not there anymore.

a minute of painful silence passes.

caitlin is speechless.

she watches as lia fiddles with the necklace around her neck, as she runs her hand through her hair once more.

"you're joking, right lia? this is a joke? all a big misunderstanding, right?" caitlin asks, still processing the news.

with her eyes brimmed with tears, lia shakes her head slowly.

caitlin's jaw drops a little. surely this was a joke, right?

"no, you don't get to do this with me. tell me, look me straight in the eyes and tell me that whatever this is, it's over." caitlin can't be sure about what they are anymore.

one hour, she's kissing lia happily, almost on top of the world, the next, lia is telling her that she can't do it.

a sob escapes lia's lips as she separates herself further away from caitlin. she goes to their bedroom, beginning to gather her belongings scattered around the messy bedroom.

caitlin follows her hastily, watching as she grabs her clothes from the closet, some polaroid photos caitlin had yet to put on the refrigerator, an unfinished yarn bracelet. all of which were little reminders of the special moments they had shared.

lia hesitates, staring at the polaroid from two weeks ago. she's smiling with cake frosting rimmed around the corners of her mouth. it's clear that she's looking at caitlin and not the camera.

she doesn't grab it from the nightstand.

"lia." caitlin tries, her breath quickening as she sees the swiss gather her belongings. "lia!" she tries again. the girl briskly ignores her, storming out of the room.

"LIA!" the australian yells. the sudden noise makes the princess jump. when lia finally turns to face her, caitlin notices everything.

the bloodshot eyes, she knows lia hates it when others see her cry. her hair, all over the place from her delicate hands running over her hair many times. her clothes, caitlin's balenciaga hoodie, one which she refused even her sister to wear. the one she used as a picnic blanket because she had stupidly forgotten to bring one. the portland thorns sweatpants, the number 9, plastered boldly in the front, from her time in america.

lastly, the necklace. such a simple gift, impulsive now that caitlin thinks more seriously about it, the letter j carved onto the necklace. she had it made specifically for her girl.

where did it all go wrong?

"i get it, you're not used to people getting close, but it's me, caitlin. i'm not someone that you need to enforce your walls around."

"you don't get it." lia states coldly, speaking up for the first time since she broke the news.

"then help me get it! what is it? is it because i'm normal? i'm a footballer? is that it? i'm not good enough for you? not cut out for your lavish lifestyle? i'm not one of these people you can just push away lia!" caitlin painfully lets out.

she has never been one to jump to conclusions, but fear engulfs her. she wants to scream, she wants to let everything out, she wants to figure out what's wrong.

she wants lia to stop crying, caitlin hates it when she cries.

she wants to hug her, to protect her from whatever hurt she's experiencing.

lia, who is still staring at her in disbelief, shakes her head. "that's not the problem cait, you being you will never, ever, be a problem."

"can you stop being so fucking cryptic! god lia! i want to know what the fuck is wrong with us, i want to fix it! i can't fucking do anything about it if you don't tell me what the hell is wrong!" lia pauses, taking in caitlin's words with patience. "can't you just tell me?" she asks desperately.

"trust me cait, what i'm doing is best for both of us." lia says gritting her teeth, not quite believing her own words.

"no! i know you, and this isn't you at all." caitlin pauses, "first, stop calling me cait, you lost that privilege a long time ago. second, you don't get to determine what is best for me or not. not with what you're doing right now. you can't just leave without giving me a reasonable explanation, because all of this makes no sense!"

"fine then, caitlin. i guess this is goodbye." lia says snatching her keys from the counter. the door slams loudly.

silence.

caitlin struggles to see for a few moments; unwelcome tears stream down her face.

after a few minutes, the engine starts to a car, and it drives off, leaving caitlin's driveway.

the tulips are left on the kitchen counter top untouched.

THE END