Damsel in Control (18+ Only) - The Rogue Pack

Chapter 11

"Oh! Sorry, sorry. I mean a first mate, but after you..." She trails off, obviously unsure of what the right thing to say is.

"So Rodrigo found his mate..." I'm talking more to myself at this point, trying to sort out the pieces of the puzzle in my head.

"Yes! Isn't it exciting! So that means you can come home!" I can't help but snort at her childish response. I'm not sure it'll be that easy for me to simply forget everything my family did to me. Every time they refused to believe me. Every time they agreed with my abuser rather than their own daughter.

"Yeahhh... I doubt that." She stays silent, "But it's still exciting!" I add as an afterthought.

"Oh... erm... Well hopefully I can see you at least! But right now I need to go, we're still at the dinner and all, you understand. I actually think that they're about to serve desert."

"Yes of course! You go, enjoy yourself. And I'll talk to you soon!"

"Yes for sure! Oh and Reyna? Your parents have been asking about you. But I'll call you back soon ok?" I don't have the strength to say anything.

"Ok anyway, bye cuz! Byeeeeee!" Lina blows a kiss down the phone as she hangs up, leaving me alone in the store room with my thoughts.

Rodrigo found his mate... I can't quite believe it either even though I was expecting it all along. When he'd first revealed that he felt the mate bond for me I'd been so confused. I'd tried to convince myself that I felt the same way, pretended that I felt the sparks when we kissed, the tingles when he touched me, the need to be near him. I pretended so hard, I convinced myself. Even when we slept together for the first time, I still convinced myself that I enjoyed it. But when he tried to bite me... and then when he forcibly bit me... I finally woke up. I realised that I'd been lying to everyone, to him, my family, even myself.

So I ran home and finally spoke up. To the family I had expected to love and support me. And it was even worse than the abuse. I was ignored, disbelieved, mocked. When I tried explaining to my parents that I didn't feel the bond, they didn't even listen, just told me that 'everyone gets last-minute jitters', tried to convince me to go back. Told me I was being difficult, that I should accept the fate the moon Goddess had chosen for me. I tried to tell them so many times, tried for days to make them see reason. That's when Rodrigo came for me, and they would have let him. So I ran away. Ran from the people who were supposed to love me.

I shake off the thoughts of my past. I've had a hard enough week relieving the memories of Rodrigo. I shift my thoughts to reflect on the news I've just heard, trying to decipher what this means. As I think, I pace around the tiny room in the dark, allowing my werewolf senses to help me avoid the buckets and boxes scattered on the floor. When even that is no longer enough to distract me, I reach for the string pull to turn the lights on, and busy my hands by sorting through our stock, re-organising the boxes of staples, paperclips and sticky notes, re-shelving the papers and notebooks, whilst my thoughts run in circles.

After I ran away, I lived in the wild for the longest time, choosing to stay in Aida's form to keep myself safe from the packs who chased me; Rodrigo's and my father's. But after 3 months, I noticed their efforts lighten up, and I decided to return to live amongst wolves. Not as part of a pack, but in our cities, where we lived our lives mingling with humans.

The first place I stayed, I noticed how all the men, wolves and men alike, and even some women, would turn to watch me walk past, brush past me in the street. At first I was confused. All the men of my pack had always ignored me growing up. To the point where I was convinced that I was unattractive. That was probably part of the reason why Rodrigo had such an influence on me at first; a handsome, older man who thought I was perfect. But looking back I realise that as the daughter of their Alpha, I was not someone who they should have been ignoring.

The second place was the same. As was the third. Every time someone made a move, I would turn them down, but a little bit of me became intrigued. Rodrigo may not have been my mate, but I had enjoyed the sex. So in my fourth city, my horniness overcame me. Luckily it was a Beta who caught my eye first, and we fucked in the bathroom. A crazy, lust fuelled fuck. It was with him that I'd experienced my first orgasm. And suddenly I realised just how bad I'd had it with Rodrigo.

The next night, I went back to the club, craving a man. That time it was an Alpha who cornered me. But when he'd muttered "mine", I ran. The memories too intense to handle.

After that I thought that everything made sense. Alphas, all of them without exception, felt the mate bond. So had Rodrigo. On that front he hadn't lied. But if it was every Alpha, then every single Alpha would see me as their mate. I quickly realised that it put me in a position of incredible danger, that unbridled desirability. I thought it was the moon Goddess' way of ensuring that I could never become an Alpha in my own right, I would always be forced to bend to the will of a male Alpha despite being the only child of an Alpha. That despite the Alpha power my birthright, I would be forced to bow down to a man regardless.

At that realisation, I'd felt only anger. Pure, unrivaled hatred for this Goddess who was forcing me to live forever under the power of another man. I'd decided there and then to never give in to what she had planned for me. I chose to use the power of the position she'd put me in... and never succumb to its weaknesses.

That night, the anger fuelling me, I went back to the club. The same Alpha was there, obviously waiting for me, hoping for me to return. This time I didn't run. I enjoyed the moment, enjoyed my time. He saw Rodrigo's mark, and I lied and said it had been a stranger who'd forced himself on me. He comforted me, held me close, kissed me better. Told me it would never happen again, that he'd take care of me. He marked me too. But I let him. I wanted to be rid of Rodrigo's influence forever. I refused to mark the Alpha back, but he'd stroked my hair and said that was ok. The next morning I slipped out before he even stirred.

But now. Now that I've heard the news about Rodrigo. I know I was wrong. Tears spring to my eyes. The goddess doesn't want me to live under the power of another man. She's giving me power. The power to choose my mate from amongst the Alphas, all of whom will love and worship me unequivocally, drawn to me by the strength of a mate bond. Or the power to live my own life, not bound to another, an Alpha in my own right...

I am free to choose. And with that freedom, I am powerful.

That night, after work, for the first time in months, I let Aida run free. My fears of being discovered by Rodrigo finally gone. The remaining doubts I had about someone forcibly claiming me eased. I am a free woman. A free wolf. An Alpha in my own right.