Running with Wolves 3

11

"I see," Dom nods, scratching at his stubble.

"I will have a patrol pass your house hourly," I assure him. The anxiety he must be experiencing now that he has a second Pup at home must be difficult, "I'm sure Summer would feel safer also."

"She's too out of it to care at the moment," he shook his head, "my Goddess of a woman is still stuck on bed rest."

"And you've left her to look after both pups alone?" I tease, quirking a brow.

"Violet sleeps through now, and Arthur was asleep in his cot beside our bed when I left," he waves his hand dismissively, a prideful smile on his face. He always beams so happily when he gets to talk about his mate and pups. They're the light of his fucking life.

"That's good," I nod, feeling this spiteful twinge of jealousy poking at my side.

He has the dream life. A beautiful mate who loves him more than anything, living in a nice house with two of the sweetest pups you could ever meet. They look just like their parents and the last I saw Violet she was babbling away at her father, who she seems to have deemed her favourite since she said 'dada' before 'mama'.

Summer is still not thrilled about that but Dom was over the moon.

"Yeah, she's also at the stage where she likes to run away every chance she gets," he adds with a little chuckle, "I had to chase her round the outside of the house yesterday."

I manage to laugh with him, imagining her little legs trying to outpace her father, laughing as she runs away from him in a game of cat and mouse.

Goddess, I want a pup of my own...

I sigh, knowing that it's not a possibility, and sit up in my chair, "You should probably head back to Summer. It's late, you need your rest."

"Thank you, Alpha," he nodded before leaving back to his house.

I organise patrols to pass around the edges of my Pack's town and houses, ensuring their safety, before making my way back to bed. Despite my exhaustion, my wolf remains on edge, refusing sleep and therefore preventing me from sleeping too.

I lay on my back, eyes focused on that little mark on the ceiling while my hands rest on my chest, holding Blue's little elephant down. It's such a small toy and I'm sure most would consider it juvenile that I am comforted by my mate's childhood toy, but I don't care.

It isn't long before the sun's rays are shooting over the horizon and piercing through the bedroom windows. I watch on as the shadows drift across the ceiling, my wolf continuing to prowl and prance.

My grip on Ellie tightens, using the toy to somewhat ground myself so I don't go and do the one thing I've found helps with the pain. I hate that I do it, I'm ashamed of myself for even resorting to something like this, but it helps.

Anything to stop me from feeling this way.

The morning is a blur, like I'm going through the same motions day in and day out. I don't know what to do with myself sometimes, my mind so lost and fuzzy that it's like someone else is running the show entirely.

Hey baby...

Her voice taunts me as I enter my office, seeing my Blue stood beside my chair, beckoning me closer. I want her to be real, I need her to be real again.

I slump back, feeling her hands on my arms, her lips on my cheek, her breath on my skin...

"Stop it," I mutter between barely parted lips. Her touch continues, my eyes clenching shut and I begin to shake my head from side to side.

Don't you love me anymore? I thought you really cared about me...

I groan, feeling her hand on my chest, the ghostly touches making my wolf whine, "I said, stop!"

I whip my arm to the side, as if batting her away, shooting up to my feet. I can't be in here. I can't do this. She's everywhere. I can't have peace, I hear her voice constantly, feel her touch all the time.

I feel like I'm going insane.

I want my Blue back, not this one. Not this Blue who taunts me, plays with my head, teases her hands across my skin.

My Blue would never do this to me. My Blue loves me, and she knows I love her too. She knows I would never hurt her. She knows I would do anything for her.

This isn't her.

It's my mind playing tricks on me.

I find myself at the training ground, then at the park with Mia, then I'm running patrol, then I'm in the Pack House again, then I'm not.

My day runs past me like a movie, like I'm sat back and watching it all transpire from the sidelines. I can't handle this. This isn't going to work.

I can't keep watching my life spin past me.

Goddess this isn't fair!

Wolfie, I miss you...come and see me...

Her words spin through my mind. Round and round and round and round, again and again and again. I can't escape her.

"No," I shake my head, backing away until I feel something hard against my back.

"Alpha?" Someone speaks, my head whipping to the side to see who's speaking.

Oskar.

"Are you okay?" He raises his arm as if to touch me but one look at my face and he drops it entirely.

"Fine," I assure him, my wolf growling at his in annoyance as I step away from the wall.

"You look pale," he comments, making me frown.

You look weak, Wolfie...they all know how weak you are...

"I'm fine," I grit out, narrowing my eyes at the new Gamma. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's young, uneducated. He knows nothing.

Liar.

"Do you want me to get Natalie?" He persists, seeming to not know when to back away.

Because you're weak...he knows it...it's only a matter of time before you're challenged...

"No," I growl, unsure about who I'm saying these words to anymore.

Liar!

"Okay, I'm sorry Alpha. I did not mean to offend you," he bows his head, submitting his neck to me.

He knows you're weak...he's fooling you...

"Go back to training!" I snap, shoving past Oskar as I hurry outside. I need air. I just need air. I need space. I need to clear my head. I need this to stop.

Alex.

☆ ☆ ☆

Reading through the next chapter now so should be out in like an hour.

- Nikki Xx