This isn't your typical story following a lovable main character through his adventure. No, the adventure was over many years ago, for better or worse.
The main character isn't some naive kid who throws his fists at every single thing that pisses hi...
"Gin... Why the hell are there two teenagers in our living room?" Akira's foot tapped impatiently on the floor as she shot a glare at the young girl with light pink hair, who seemed to be inhaling fried rice like there was no tomorrow.
Shinpachi, sensing the storm brewing in Akira's eyes, stepped forward and cleared his throat nervously. "Uh, ma'am, I'm Shimura Shinpachi. I was hired by Gintoki. And this is..."
Kagura, who had been busy with her food, finally looked up with a piece of rice hanging precariously from her lips.
When he noticed she wasn't budging forward, he clenched his fists and pulled her by her ear, forcing her to bow. "Hahaha... she's kinda dumb, please don't kill us!"
"Oh? Ah right! I need to introduce myself!" The girl bumped a fist into her palm in realization. "I'm Kagura! I'll be living here from now on! Thank you and goodnight!"
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Shinpachi was ready to tear his hair off from her stupidity.
As the two teenagers bickered, Akira snapped her head to Gintoki. When he noticed her stare, he quickly turned his head and started whistling.
"Don't you ignore me!" Akira leaped at him like an angry cat, her weight causing him to fall and hit his head with a groan. "We can barely afford water! And now you want to adopt some kids!? Gin!"
"Geez, woman! You're crazy," he rubbed the back of his head, looking up at his furious girlfriend. He wasn't going to lie, he thought she was pretty hot at the moment. "We'll manage, just relax."
"The girl is already eating food worth a week's budget, what do you mean relax!?" She shook him from his shoulder frantically. "This is it, we're done for," she dropped the grip she had on him, sulking. "Now I won't even be able to afford a proper funeral."
"Pfft, as if anyone would want to attend it in the first place," the silver-haired man remarked sarcastically.
Akira shot Gintoki a glare, her eyes narrowing. "Oh, really? So, you're saying my funeral would be a total snoozefest, huh?"
Gintoki shrugged. "Well, if you insist on making it all dramatic and tragic, I'm sure people will be dozing off left and right."
"Ugh, you're impossible," Akira huffed, though she couldn't hide the hint of amusement in her tone. "Fine, if that's how it's gonna be, then you're not invited to my funeral."
Gintoki feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "What? Not invited to my own girlfriend's funeral? Now that's just cold."
"You brought this upon yourself," Akira replied, crossing her arms and pretending to be stern. "No funeral attendance for sarcastic wavy-haired samurais."
Gintoki leaned in, his mischievous gaze meeting hers. "Well, in that case, I'll just have to throw my own funeral, where people actually stay awake as they cry crocodile tears like Kokichi Omua."
Akira rolled her eyes, a mocking smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Sure thing, Mr. Party Planner. I'm sure your funeral bash will be the talk of the town."
Their banter was interrupted by Kagura speaking up: "Would there be any free food?"
The black-haired woman stared at the young teenager blankly. "You're a very interesting person, aren't you?"
With a roll of her eyes, Akira made up her decision. "Oi, kids. As long as you don't touch my shit, I don't mind your company."
Kagura and Shinpachi exchanged glances. "Really?"
Akira sighed deeply and turned away. "Yeah, really. Just remember; we're poor as hell, so no wasting money on useless crap."
Kagura saluted energetically, and Shinpachi followed suit with a more subdued nod. "Yes, ma'am!"
"I can't believe two kids are gonna live with us from now on," Akira muttered as she pulled a white t-shirt that belonged to Gintoki down over her head.
"Well, you can look at it this way. Now you have kids without actually needing to go through the pain of giving birth. So... in some sense, you're welcome?"
Akira deadpanned. "I hate you sometimes."
Gintoki chuckled as he watched his partner brush her long hair. "As long as it's sometimes, I can live with that. And hey, it's only one brat that's really living here. I already told you that the boy has a home."
"Great, the worst option of the two stays here for God knows how long," she sighed and turned to the futon where he was already sitting, waiting like a patient dog.
As she moved the blanket, Gintoki scooted aside, and they both fell onto the mattress with a sigh of both relief and exhaustion.
"Did you make any money at least?"
"Ah... the time of the winter is always slow--"
"Gin, it's summer."
The silver-haired samurai waved a dismissive hand. "We'll manage. I promise, okay? They're good kids. I think."
"Sure, whatever you say." Akira was too tired to overthink everything. She had known the man for a long time. She had seen him in his best moments, carrying an army of people on his shoulders, and in moments when he couldn't take his suffocating guilt and almost corrupted himself. But one thing that had never changed about him through all those years was the fact that weird stuff always happened around him.
She was still trying her best to accept it instead of fighting it.
"Can't a guy just have a good night's sleep with his girlfriend?" He muttered as he hugged her form to his chest, nuzzling his head in the crock of her warm neck. "Come on, don't you trust me?" He ground himself with the strength of his arms, hovering over her. "Just look at how cute I am. Who wouldn't trust such an adorable face?"
For some reason, he was pursuing his bottom lip out and scrunching his brows together. The best she could describe his expression was that it looked like a fish that got stung by a bee.
Akira couldn't help the fit of laughter that escaped her mouth as she tried to push his face away from her.
"Okay, okay, I get it," she finally calmed down and embraced him back, pushing his head to rest on her chest. "I guess I don't mind that much. They seemed nice overall. Weird as hell, but hey, in some way, we're freaks too, right?"
Gintoki was too busy trying not to get a nosebleed, his face awkwardly pressed between her breasts. "Speak for yourself," he managed to mumble, lifting his head and carefully resting it on the pillow again. He gently drew her body closer to his, enfolding her in his strong arms while tucking his chin atop her head.
With closed eyes, he murmured: "You smell nice."
Akira rolled her eyes with a small found smile. "We use the same shampoo, moron."
"Mm... it smells better on you."
"That's so?"
"Yep."
The female samurai hummed in response, her fingers gently weaving through his fluffy hair, twisting the locks around her finger, earning a contented low hum from him.
"You better keep your promise, ya hear?" she teased, her voice barely above a whisper.
All she got in response was a loud snore, Gintoki having already succumbed to sleep.
