I Don't Love You (And I Always Will)

Chapter Thirty Two

"Who's ready for Monopoly?" Liam cheered, the volume in the room coming back to Harry. A chorus of excitement took over everyone but Louis and Harry, fake smiles coming to their faces.

Harry took the shoe piece, and everyone followed suit as the game started up. Gigi and Eleanor were teaming up to quickly take all the utilities, Zayn and Liam doing the same to the railroads. Harry tried to focus on a strategy, but his eyes kept wandering across the coffee table. Louis never met his eyes, but he could feel his presence. Louis kept up his routine, loud laughter and a quick tongue hiding any signs of sadness.

Two hours later, only Eleanor and Zayn were left playing, everyone else having gone bankrupt. Gigi and Louis were asleep, the first two bankrupt despite being the two talking the most shit. Niall and Ed were drinking in the kitchen, trying to empty Harry's wine cabinet. Harry wandered out to his balcony, quietly slipping out the sliding glass door.

It was cold, below freezing, but he had brought out a throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Harry watched his breath puff out, the stars replaced by city lights.

He heard the door sliding open, whipping around to see Zayn had followed him out.

"El won." Zayn explained, a leather jacket shielding him from the cold.

"Good for her." Harry said, wrapping his blanket around himself tighter. The two men stood silently, Zayn leaning his elbows against the railing.

"Did Lou ever tell you how I ended up at the ballet?" Zayn asked, staring out onto the street below. His voice was quiet, like he was sharing secrets around a summer camp bonfire.

"Um, no." Harry answered, watching a woman walking her dog five stories below. "I assumed you got hired after you graduated from NYU."

"Well that's true," Zayn mused. "But that wasn't the plan."

"Really?"

Zayn nodded, his sigh visible in the air.

"I trained at SAB." Zayn said. "That's how I met Lou."

"Oh."

Harry had never seen Zayn as a dancer. Nobody ever discussed Zayn attending the school, and he had never brought it up.

"We were suitemates, actually. I had moved from Wyoming, from this crazy small town. My dad's a piece of shit, and ballet was my way out of there."

Harry turned to look at Zayn, who was still staring down at the street. He was stoic, but not emotionless.

"So I came to the school, scared as shit. The first person I meet is Louis, who's loud and bright, and so intimidating."

Harry scoffed.

"You were intimidated?" Harry asked, eyebrows halfway up his forehead. He didn't think anything, or anyone, could rattle the great Zayn Malik.

"Out of my mind. He was this force, you know? He still is, but at that age he was different. More open, I think. But he introduced himself, and started rambling like we were lifelong friends. He included me in every group, every activity. I was shy, which some people took as being cold, but he saw me for who I was. A kid who wanted to be part of something bigger. He's always been insightful like that."

Harry hummed in agreement.

"Anyway, we were best friends. Liam was my roommate, but we shared a bathroom with Louis and Niall so we were in close quarters. At the end of our senior year, they all got contracts. I didn't."

Harry's stomach dropped. He knew multiple kids at the Royal Academy who didn't receive offers, left without a clue what to do.

"I was devastated. Took a year off, applied to NYU on a whim. I took costume design so I could keep working with my friends."