Sweet tune ( karlnap )

Not how It looks like

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at the lake?"
I asked George.
"Yeah, we'll bring some marshmallows."
The brunet responded smiling.
"Okay, have fun you two!" I said winking before turning around and starting to walk home with the kids.
-

"Big news," i said, clearing my voice. "You and Tubbo are having a sleepover at Karl's house tomorrow."
Bill cheered, his hands up in the air.
Ranboo shook his head and started giggling as i put an arm around his shoulder.
"You know," i said scanning him, my voice so low that it was almost a whisper. "You've grown big now, you're almost twelve." I smiled looking at him up and down.
"You're getting old too" He said in a giggle as he pinched my arm.

We all walked down to our house, serenity surrounding us.
-

I made the kids eat and put them to sleep, then quietly slipped in my room.
The bed was still made, and some tissues laid on the cold floor.
I didn't bother picking them up, I just sat on the sheets and let the darkness sink in my eyes.

A yawn escaped my lips as i allowed myself to fall on my back, covers all around me.
My thoughts restlessy wandered through everything that happened that day as i stared at the blank ceiling.

I couldn't forgive years of self hatred for loving a boy who's touch i thought i could never reach.
I passed a two fingers down my arms, slightly wincing as all the memories flooded my mind.
It's like i could still feel the needles pierce my skin.

I laid my hands down, snorting.

As much as i tried to I couldn't sleep.
I shuffled around the bed for a few minutes, then just gave up decided to stay awake.

The silence made my thoughts loud and uncomfortable.
All I could picture was his skin gently rubbing against mine as he removed my clothes, his lustrous eyes eating me with a glance.

I reached for my lips, gently rubbing them with my fingers as i still felt his breath hitting them.
I licked them, trying to taste his kisses again.
My hand slowly traveled down my neck, lowered to my chest, then my stomach, stopping at my groin.

I took a sharp breath in, then turned around so my back was facing the ceiling.
My boner pressed against the mattress, and i dug my face in the pillow as I huffed and cried a helpless groan, just wanting to sleep.

I clasped the sheets with both my hands and bit my pillow, one leg slightly up.
My hips started slowly thrusting, the friction against the bed causing muffled whimpers to escape my lips.
My fingers gripped the fabric harder as the motion sped up.

"Karl, karl karl karl" I moaned as my breathing fastened.

-
I let the water run between my fingers, hypnotized by the view.
Eventually, i turned the faucet off and wiped my hands on a towel.
My bare feet curled up against the cold floor as i walked to my room, the moonlight reflecting my skin in blue.

I stood in front of the open door and stared the pavement down, contemplating.
I reached a spot near my bed and got on my knees, carefully lifting a tile up, trying not to make too much noise.
As i grabbed the pack of cigarette a flood of memories invaded my mind.

The ashy scent explored my lungs as i stood besides the taller man, my sight fixed on the coffee table where various bottles of alcohool stood.
"It's about time you start smoking, son." Said him as he introduced a fag between my lips and put a match in front of it, lighting it up.
I took it out and started coughing, my throat burning violently.
"I'm not sure about this, dad." I confessed, afraid for how he could've reacted.
His palm hit my face, a familiar feeling meeting my left cheek.
"You're a man, good lord!" he hysterically yelled, "Act like one!" he finished as the door slammed closed behind him.