mutuality | wroetoshaw

thirty four

"No. But let's go anyway," he sighs, taking my hand where I give him a reassuring squeeze.

Today is bound to be a difficult one. It's an unprecedented situation, and there are no expectations for Harry's feelings. It's going to bring up a lot of past emotions, and whilst I feel secure with him, there's going to be a little bit of awkwardness today. I just had to remind myself it was one day.

The taxi is waiting for us when we get downstairs, and Harry opens the door for me like the gentleman I've always known him to be.

The journey is spent with us mostly just chatting about work, along with some zoning out and looking out of the window. The hour passes by pretty quickly, and before I know it we're driving up a narrow lane with gold and silver balloons tied to the fence.

Annoyingly, it does look very pretty, and the kind of aesthetic I love.

Soon we're pulling into the parking lot, and the venue comes into view, a large old fashioned style building, which looks quite grandiose.

Harry thanks the driver, telling him roughly what time to pick us up, and it leaves us in front of the doors, where there is someone in a formal suit waiting for our arrival.

We've arrived in good time, the invitation stating the ceremony starting at one, in just under an hour.

"Harry Lewis," he says the the doorman, who shows us into the building. Straight away a waitress waltzes over to us, a tray full of champagne.

Harry takes two, handing one to me but not before grabbing himself another one.

"Already?" I muse, raising an eyebrow but free from judgement.

"I think I'll need it. Was this a bad idea? Why the fuck am I at this wedding?" He whisper shouts to me, and I can literally see the stress forming on his face, so I do what I know will help.

I press a gentle touch to his arm, hoping to reassure him. I think it works, because I see his face start to relax a little.

"Hey, it's okay. If you want to leave, we can go to a shop and buy a bottle of alcohol and get pissed up in a random field. We can do whatever you want, alright? I'm here for the ride," I tell him.

He gulps back a breath, and nods. "I love you. So, so much. I'll be okay. I'm being stupid," he shakes his head, taking a (rather large) sip of his champagne.

"Harry, you're not being stupid. How many times do I have to tell you that?! What you're feeling is completely understandable. I'm with you all the way."

"You know what I hate most about all of this?" He says to me, and I couldn't possibly guess, so I gesture for him to continue, just glad he's opening up to me. "I really liked her family. Haven't seen them since...well, you know. It's going to be awful, I don't even know if they know what happened. It's been just over two years now, so it's going to be weird. I also got on really well with her little brother. He was only ten the last time I saw him." he explains, and I do feel for him.

"Just take it one step at a time. It'll be okay," I whisper, linking our arms together and resting my head on his shoulder.

"On the plus side," he perks up suddenly, turning to face me. "I've definitely got the best date here. Like, shit, I've got you on my arm. What is there to be sad about, really?" He grins, and we follow the signs towards the outside area for the ceremony.

"On the contrary, I think it's the other way round. I seriously need to find more excuses to get you in a suit, because, wow."

"I hate suits. But...for you, duly noted."