Crazy Love

Chapter 18

"No buts! They're dicks period." Why does she always have to be so rational?

"I mean, they might be even bigger dicks than you think?" I am confused by her statement.

"Some companies do not like having pregnant women in their company. Maternity leave is not cheap when you also have to hire a replacement. Not to mention all the medical appointments and stuff you'll need until then. They like to conjur offences and add strikes to your record so they appear justified in firing you before you come to term. Or they antagonise you into quitting so they don't have to pay you."

"You have got to be shitting me!"

"I wish I was."

"Those asses. Those giant monumental asses! How dare they? They love to boast about their generous maternity leave policy!!" I can't believe them.

"How generous are we talking?"

"Six months with 75% salary." I remember some of the guys in the office talking about how unfair it was that mothers get all that time off for pushing out a baby." I so badly wanted to punch them.

"If I were you, I'd stick it oit until my leave kicks in, then get myself fired when I return. That way, they lose a shit ton of money and that's all these fucktards care about. Money."

"I don't know if I can hold out until the baby comes." That's twenty-one more weeks of this nonsense.

"Then start your maternity leave a month early. You know you can do that, right?" Huh. She's right. I can.

That takes it down to eighteen weeks.

That's still a long time but it feels more doable somehow.

"Maybe when I come back, I come with my baby to work. Say my babysitter cancelled."

"Or disappear for hours at a time and watch their heads pop."

"You know what? I'm gonna do it. Those old skeezers can eat dirt for all I care."

"Fuck the patriarchy."

"Amen. Now give me the ice-cream bowl." She has been hogging it since I started talking.

"So how things going with baby daddy? Have you two come to an agreement yet?"

I groan because I hate him too.

"Don't talk about him."

"Uh-oh. What did he do? Tell Lynn." She gets comfortable on the couch.

"Nothing bad. He just calls me every night. And sends these cute little texts throughout the day. Sometimes, when he's super sleepy, he slips into what I'm guessing is Arabic. Since when is Arabic hot? Do you know he has already looked up kindergardens? And bought a ton of pregnancy books."

"Oh boy, it's worse than I thought." Lynn says stuffing her face. When did she take the ice-cream?

"What is?"

"You. You wanna bang your babydaddy."

"Duh, I want to bang him? I mean, have you seen him?"

"No! Because you refuse to let us meet!" Oh yeah. I had forgotten about that.

I'm not letting Lynn anywhere near him.

"I need to get laid." I admit. My vibrator just isn't doing enough anymore. I miss the human connection. The warmth and passion. The intimacy.

"Okay, you thinking of going out or making a booty call?" Lynn asks without skipping a beat.

"Lynn, I'm very visibly pregnant. No one is going to want to fuck a pregnant girl."

"This again? Really? Men fuck dead bodies and you look hotter than the Sahara."

"Well, thanks, but I'm not interested in guys who would fuck a corpse." That is just creepy. Plus they probably only care about their pleasure. Not yours.

"Actually, there's no way to know that you haven't already. Even some guys you think you know may try it if they were certain they wouldn't get caught. And that's saying nothing about all of the strangers you've fucked."

"Okay, now I feel judged."

"Judged? Why? Wait, would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Sleep with a corpse?"

"Eww! Gross! What is wrong with you?!"

"Me think the lady doth protest too much." There is a teasing lilt to her voice that makes me laugh as I reach out for the ice-cream.

"I don't know how you do it? How do you go almost a month without getting any?" She just shrugs.

"Do you even like sex?" She rarely ever talks about her own sex life.

"As much as the next girl. I'm just slightly more discerning about who I do it with."

"Again, that sounds judgey." How does she not hear that?

"Only if you think being picky is a good thing. I mean, people hate it when I'm picky about food or clothes. Why is it all of a sudden a good thing when it comes to men?" Hmm. I'd never thought of that.

"It just comes across as you thinking you're too good for what is good enough for the rest of us."

"That's dumb. Everyone has their preferences. If anything, I'm disadvantaged by how small my circle of preference is. I have fewer choices. I used to envy people with more options. It always felt like the world was their oyster. Meanwhile, I'm stuck to my island."
Damn. Perspective is everything, isn't it?

"Also, according to Janelle's socials, she's single now. Do with that what you will."