Kill Me

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"Klaus," Allison said in surprise, and he smiled.

"Hey."

"Oh, thank God," Viktor breathed from next to you. You noticed Klaus smiling at you, but you were too busy glaring at your father.

"Quickly, children, gather round."

"The hell have you been?" Diego demanded, walking towards them.

"Oh, Reg and I," Klaus said breathlessly, his tone more innocent than usual. "We got tangled up in a whole father-son end-of-the-world road trip kinda thing. You know?"

"You two are hanging now?" Ben asked, just as incredulous as you felt.

"Yeah! We laughed, we cried, we played in traffic..." As Klaus talked, he moved his hands, swinging the tassels on his dirty, unzipped jacket. "And long story short, I'm immortal now!" He flexed his arms up and down, making grunting noises and overall weirding you out.

"Whoa, wait. You're what now?" Luther questioned, squinting.

"Klaus, have you gotten into the bath salts again?" It would have been a funny question for Allison to ask, but... it had happened. Twice.

"I think the more permanent question is why are you all sitting around playing with jars?" Reginald demanded in that impertinent tone of his, and you clenched your jaw, dropping the jar on the table.

"Because, father dearest, unless you've come in here with some master plan to save the universe, we all die."

Your father opened his mouth to reply, but Sloane interrupted hurriedly.

"They're invitations."

Diego tossed his over his shoulder as Luther spoke. "We're not playing."

"Luther and I are getting married." She smiled, passing a jar into Reginald's gloved hand.

"All of space and time is collapsing, and you lot are planning a wedding?"

"The world is ending? Oh my God, we had no idea," you exclaimed in a tone heavily dripping with sarcasm. You tilted your head at him, smiling fakely as he narrowed his eyes at you searchingly, like he was trying to read a particularly confusing book. That's all you were to him. An assignment. A challenge.

"Yeah, and space is limited," Luther said quickly, moving to stand next to Sloane as Viktor placed a calming hand on your shoulder. "So it's kind of a... per-plate situation, you know." He plucked the jar back out of Reginald's hand awkwardly.

Reginald stared incredulously at him for a moment. "Is this how I raised you? To fiddle while Rome burns?" He burst.

Klaus stepped to his side, murmuring in his ear. "Remember what we talked about, Reg. Remember to breathe," he said in a nervous sing-song tone. 

"Quiet. I'm on a roll," he grumbled.

"Dad, have you been taking your pills?" Sloane asked carefully.

"As a matter of fact, I haven't. And I can confirm that I've never felt better in my life." He placed his fists on his hips. "You thought that you could dope me up and slow me down, take control of my affairs and squander my fortune." Ben eyed him, seeming slightly awed and mostly wary. "Well, Klaus here was good enough to wean me off that wretched poison." Klaus watched him with wide, shocked eyes, clearly not expecting him to reveal that. "And now that the fog has lifted, I can see all your dastardly designs with a bracing clarity." 

Your eyes snapped to Klaus accusatorially, and you bit your cheek. Why would he do that? Ruin everything for both academies? This version of Reginald had been easier to handle. Weaker. Maybe Klaus had pitied him. Klaus always had been bad at fighting in the sand pit when you were younger.

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