i wake up and it follows me
this thick black smog in an outline of a human
i am never free inside of my own body
my conscious state begs for release from it
my waking thoughts flee from the sight of myself
and the daily expense of living
here lies a constant cycle
a hibernation of the mind
a retirement from pretty
i dig deeper knowing that there is no consequence to my pain
only a lifetime of wishing
a presence and possession of envy
i say to myself
"it is your life and you are living it
it is only your life
this is all you can be
all you can be is your own"
and this,
this is the greatest grievance.
this is the greatest curse.
