so here i am
i woke at seven thirty like i promised
i am trying to silence what is inside of me
i cannot seem to ignore it
i feel as though you are watching me bleed
i will run dry from this blood soon
until there is nothing left to keep my heart beating
why do i convince myself of the worst things being true?
things most wouldn't spare a second glance at
are the horrendous fears that infiltrate my brain
it is eating me and i do not own myself anymore
my love is becoming my demise
i am the issue at hand
i am the reason your head hurts
so i cry again and spill apology after apology
for being who i am but who i wish i am not
it is not a part of me, please believe
i am possessed with an entity who lathers in my suffering like soap
washes itself with my insanity
it laughs, it taunts, it screams
i am hanging my fingernails, crawling, to escape it
in hopes i will not succumb to its fate
i can smell the putridness of my hateful, like prey
when can i love me?
when can i love me?
when can i love me?
