Survivor ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥

008. ꕥ Strategics

Rain was something that I had forgotten what it felt like — the wetness on my skin, cascading down from where it landed on my face, the smell the rain brought, and the way it made me feel so alive. I remember how I felt the first time I got to experience the life-giving earth miracle when the hundred first had landed on the ground, but I failed to remember how the rain felt. It wasn't until the rain was falling in Polis that I was reminded of the water letting loose from the clouds above. But this rain didn't resemble any aspects of the rain I had grown to cherish before the treachery that was Praimfaya came across the globe. Today, the rain was ashy, it didn't provide the refreshingness I remembered, and it didn't make me wanna wrinkle my nose in content. If anything, this rain only reminded me of our current squabble and how royally screwed we were.

It had been a tiresome trek back to the Second Dawn Bunker through the vast, unforgiving desert once the retreat was sounded. Luckily we were only a day out, so it should've taken the same time to get back, but the injuries sustained during the sandstorm slowed us down on our way back. Once we did return, Octavia gave everyone the night to rest and heal before we were back up at it again the following day.

Happy was too simple of a term to describe Ethan's reaction when seeing Callan and I walk through our room. We probably looked like hell — hell, we felt like it too — but Ethan didn't care; he was just so excited to see us alive and well. And, of course, he asked what happened out there and why we were back only after two days when it wouldn't even take that long to get to Shallow Valley. Like always, Callan and I tried to answer Ethan's questions to the best of our abilities while still attempting to retain the boy's innocence.

I was sitting up against one of Polis' dismantled buildings, my legs crossed under me. Like Clarke had suggested — more like ordered — I went to see Jackson early this morning and was inspected by the doctor. He was swarmed in Medical; dozens of injured were lying on all the beds in the room, whether they had been harmed in the blast from three nights ago or the sandstorm. But being the good doctor that he was, Jackson found time to tend to me, irrigating — I think that's what he called it — my wound and replacing my bandage that had become incredibly dusty and crimson stained, telling me that I had to take it easy or there could be an infection.

Simply, I thanked Jackson and went outside, where I was only met with more despair and distress. Tents had been set up around the bunker, giving people more places other than their stuffy bunks to live. People lined the streets awaiting whatever Octavia's next orders would be — that all seemed to be based around the Blake girl's recovery time which seemed like next to none.

Speaking of, I caught sight of Octavia, Cooper, and a male guard emerging from the bunker, the most former's eyes wandering around her surroundings until she caught sight of me. With Cooper and the guard in tow Octavia walked up to where I was seated, and when she reached me, I simply looked up at her; I was too tired to stand up, even if it earned me a disrespectful gaze from Cooper.

"Are you okay?" Octavia asked.

That question could be referring to a number of different things. She could be talking about the hole in my stomach that still rendered me weak, the impending war that we were severely underpowered in. Octavia's question also could be alluding to Bellamy, who had shown up out of know where three days ago after a six-year disappearance, or the fact that Echo was alive and running into the arms of someone who I had claimed to love six years ago. Whatever Octavia was referencing, my answer was the same, nonetheless — no, I wasn't okay. But could I say that? Absolutely not.

So I decided on the simple answer of, "I'm fine." I let out an exhale of breath. "Are you okay, Blodreina?"

The name slipped off my tongue, but it was so unnatural — I preferred calling Octavia by her name: Octavia.