let the light in | jack hughes

Chapter 55

After scarfing down his food he takes his coat off, asking where I keep the clothes he leaves here in case he stays over. "First drawer on the left," I tell him as he walks into my room to change out of his work clothes. Before going in he starts taking off his shirt, showcasing a big tattoo on his shoulder blade. I wonder if there's a story behind that. 

He walks back into the living room in grey sweats and a white t-shirt. While he was gone I took the liberty to put the dishes in the sink and refill my glass of wine, since Harry has barely taken a sip out of his. "I noticed you have a tattoo on your back, is there a story behind it?" I ask, sitting up, excited to hear what he has to say about it. "Yeah, I got in Kyoto, it's a protection symbol," he says, making me giggle softly. 

"What's so funny?" he says, furrowing his brows. "Sorry, there's just this song called Kyoto by one of my favorite musicians, and I can't help but think of her every time I hear the name of that city," I explain to him, feeling a bit bad that he had a serious meaning behind his tattoo and I found it in me to laugh at him and talk about Phoebe Bridgers. He asks me who sings the song so he can listen to it, making me smile brightly.

I spell out Phoebe's name, waiting for the 'Punisher' album cover to come up after searching it up. At first, he's into it until she sings, "I'm gonna kill you if you don't beat me to it," he pauses the song, scrunching his face up before shaking his head. "Not my thing," he says, tossing his phone on the carpet. I'll admit him not being too fond of Phoebe or The Beatles kind of stings since they're my favorite singers. 

He asks me to explain all of my tattoos now since he only has one on his back. I start with the ones near my ankle, pulling my foot up to show him a small bunny. "This was my mom's first pet when she was growing up. It meant a lot to her, so it means a lot to me. I move up to my hip, pulling my shorts down slightly to show a cherry tattoo I got just for fun. I move to the tattoo on my ribs. "I got this tattoo for Devon, because in the song it talks about how she'd do anything for the persons she's talking about, and I would do the same for Dev," I smile.

Next, I go to my arms, wanting to talk about my back tattoo last. I have Taylor Swift lyrics, my Mom and Dad's zodiac signs as tiny stars, the words 'Hey Jude', and a few others. "What about the one on your back?" he says, getting closer and reaching his hand up under my shirt to touch the ink. He seems like someone I could trust. I know I can take him there. "Uhh, for that one can I take you somewhere, it's not far I swear," I say, watching him get up and grab his keys. 

"Just tell me where," he says, walking out of my house and getting into the driver's seat. I grab a few of the poppies Jack gave me and take them with me before getting in the car. I give him directions on where to go as we drive until we're parked outside of the cemetery. I take a deep breath before getting out of the car, waiting for him to follow. I stand in front of the car until I hear his car door open and close. "Why are we at the cemetery?" he says, sounding kind of scared. 

"I'm going to tell you about my tattoo," I smile, walking through the gates, and walking over to my favorite person. Hi Dad, I say in my head, putting the poppies in front of him, sitting down as Harry looks around, begging for an explanation. "Just sit down, I'm going to explain," I say, scooting over so he can read the name on the headstone. 

In Loving Memory

Lennon Jae

September 12, 1968 - December 19, 2021

A loved husband and father

I watch his eyes scan over the words before he gasps so quietly I could barely hear it but I heard it. "This is my Dad, he passed away almost two years ago. He was my best friend and my beacon of light. If there was anything bad in my life I knew it couldn't be that bad because at least I always had my Dad," I sniffle, running the back of my finger under my nose. 

"After he married my Mom they had some trouble conceiving but that one day he just wished upon a star for a baby girl and the next day my Mom didn't feel so good so she took a pregnancy test and low and behold she was pregnant. From that day forward he called me his star girl." I pull the back of my shirt up a bit to show off my tattoo that's in his handwriting. 

I go into more detail about my Dad's condition but also add on some fun memories of him not wanting to taint his memory for Harry. I'd like for him to one day talk about my Dad the way my friends do. Like he's still alive like they're keeping his memory alive. 

They know how important it is for me to never forget about him and continue to pass on any little anecdotes I had with him. I look up at the sky to see a waning crescent, but right next to it, I see a bright little star. There he is! I smile, squeezing my fist three times for him. 

"I'm so sorry, Bea," he says, reaching towards me, this being the first time he's touched me or said anything since I started talking. I lean into him, letting him wrap his arms around me. I sink into his hold, letting him hold up all the weight my shoulders feel like they're carrying. When I get comfortable he pulls back, rubbing my arms. "You could never escape 'The Beatles', huh?" he jokes, making me cringe a bit that that's the second thing he's chosen to say. 

"No, no. There's no escaping 'The Beatles', Lennon and Ringo are here to stay," I say, getting up from the ground after he gets up. He walks us over to his car, driving back to my apartment. "Can I show you one more thing, it's still in relation to my tattoo," I say, watching his shoulder drop the tiniest bit. I ignore it because this is something that's important to me, and if he's going to continue to be my boyfriend these are things he should know.

"Sure," he says, getting out of the car as I skip over to my door to scoop Ringo up in my arms and kiss him repeatedly. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I let him chase after me into my room as I dig up one of my Dad's journals. Harry closes the front door behind him, locking it as he sits on the couch, pulling the top of my pillow fort off and using it over his legs. 

I sit beside him disregarding the fact that the roof of our fort is gone. "This is a journal my Dad gave me before he died. In this, he has all kinds of life lessons, poems, stories about him and my Mom, and it means the world to me," I say, holding it to my chest, skipping through a few pages before finding the one where I took 'my star girl' from. 

Harry takes the journal out of my hands, looking closely at it, reading over my nickname and possibly the other words on the page. The thought of him being in my Dad's brain without really getting to know the legacy he left behind or even showing a little care about him makes a small part of me itch. I pull the book back, not wanting him to read anymore since it feels a bit too fast for me and slightly invasive.

I'm not liking the turn this night took in energy. I feel like up until I started talking about my Dad things just felt kind of off, but I wanted him to know about him because the anniversary of his death is coming up. If he's going to hopefully help me through that season he should be well equipped to. 

"Want to watch a movie?" I ask, feeling the need to diffuse the horrible tension in the room. 

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a.n//Hey bestiess!!! how are we feeling? Chapters like this always make me feel a bit gloomy and make me want to check up on each and every one of you, so how are you? 

Did we like this chapter? I know there was no Jack in it, but next chapter you'll have plenty of Jack so do not worry...

Next chapter is HALLOWEEN! so a year since my favs met:)))

I like how I was like I'm going to stay so quiet about my personal feelings for Harry, then hate on him in the comment section... Oh well!

Anyways! I love you guys so so much!

stay safe, stay kind, and text me if you need ANYYYYTHING!

Love Lottie 💐💐💐