When Sam and I got downstairs we were met by Carter, Jake, Corey, and little Sam sitting in the living room playing video games.
As much as I loved the fact that the boys had male figures to lean on during this time, it hurt knowing how quickly they moved on.
I knew it should have been a good thing but it was hard to digest.
"Where are the girls?" I asked and bundled my sleeves in my fists.
"Kitchen." Carter said as I nodded and turned to go towards the kitchen.
When I walked into the room, Devyn was rolling out cookie dough while Jenna sat with Juniper on her lap.
Juniper has been quiet and honestly was taking this the hardest. I wished with my whole heart that I could take the pain away from her.
"Hey guys." I said quietly, twisting Colby's ring that was still around my neck.
"Hey, Jule." Jenna said as Juniper looked up at me. "I'm going to my doctor's appointment...I'm gonna bring Juniper with me." I said and walked over to the girls.
"Really?" Juniper asked as I nodded. "Yeah, come on." I said as Jenna frowned. "Can I come?" She asked as I sighed.
"I wish, Jen. I just need you to stay here with everyone. Is that okay?" I asked as she nodded.
"We can go out tomorrow..I know it's hard to be trapped in a sad house." I said as Juniper walked up to me.
"No, it's okay Jule. I know you have a lot of pressure on you right now." Jenna said as I nodded.
I was grateful that she was understanding right now. I knew that Jenna and I would have to have a serious conversation about this whole situation but for now she was letting me just do what I needed to do.
"Come on, kid." I said quietly then took Juniper's hand.
"Ready?" Sam asked as we walked back over to him. "Yeah, we're ready." I said as he nodded. "We'll be back guys. Call me if anything happens." Sam said as Jake, Corey, and Nate all nodded.
"Got it, boss." Jake said, causing my heart to ache. Colby used to be his boss, but now he was gone.
"Can't we reschedule?" I asked, my voice trembling. "We can't, Jules. It's all gonna be okay. We'll get you through this." Sam said as we walked to the car.
Once Juniper was situated in her car seat she looked at me. "Can you sit back here with me?" She asked with an innocence that broke my heart.
"Yes, sweetheart. I'll sit with you." I said then leaned down and kissed her head.
I sat in the backseat with Juniper and held her hand the whole drive to the doctor's office. I was nervous to hear about the status on the baby.
I have been putting a great deal of stress on it, which I knew wasn't good.
When we got to the doctors office we made our way inside.
"Can I help you?" The woman behind the desk asked as I walked up with Juniper.
"Checking in for my appointment. Briana Wilson." I said quietly. "Dr. Moore will be ready for you soon, just take a seat." She said as I nodded and went to where Sam was sitting.
"How far along are you?" He asked as I shrugged. "I don't know. I lost track." I said then put my hand on my belly.
I had to have been around fifteen weeks at this point but I guess it didn't really matter.
Nothing mattered anymore.
We sat and waited in the waiting room for a little while before a nurse came to grab us.
"Want me to come?" Sam asked as I nodded. "Can you?" I asked as he nodded. "Of course." He said as I squeezed Juniper's hand.
"Are you excited to see your niece or nephew?" I asked as she nodded. "Will we find out what it is?" She asked as we walked to the back.
"Not today but I promise you can be the first to know." I said as she smiled.
It had been a while since I've seen her smile and I missed it.
The poor girl was broken after losing her best friend.
When we got to the room the nurse took my vitals then left to get the doctor.
The longer we sat, the more nervous I got.
Finally she came into the room and looked at me with a smile.
"Hi, Briana. How are you feeling?" She asked as Juniper hid into me. "I've been better." I said as Dr. Moore frowned.
"What's going on?" She asked as my eyes watered. "Grieving..." I said as she sighed. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I know you've got a lot on your plate but I'm sure you've been worried about the baby since that can cause a lot of stress." She said as I nodded.
"Yeah, I brought some moral support. Addie, can you say hi?" I asked and brushed Juniper's curls back.
"Hi." She said as Dr. Moore smiled at her. "Hi, Addie. Do you like suckers?" She asked as Juniper nodded.
"Great. I have just the ice breaker for you." She said then grabbed a handful of suckers and fanned them out in front of Juniper's face.
"Pick a flavor." She said as Juniper looked up at me. "Go ahead, love." I said with reassurance.
"Thank you." Juniper said and grabbed the pink sucker. "You're welcome, sweetie." She said then looked at Sam.
"You must be the father." Dr. Moore said as my heart jolted. "No, his best friend. Just here to support." Sam said with a nod.
"Oh, I apologize for assuming." She said then looked at me.
"Let's get started then." She said then pulled the ultrasound machine over.
"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Moore asked as she set up the machine. "Sad." I said simply as Juniper aimlessly chewed on her sucker.
"Understandable. It's hard to enjoy such a beautiful thing while you're grieving a loss of another life." She said and turned the machine on.
"While you're in this appointment, try your best to escape. I know it's hard, but we want you to feel joy and excitement about the life you're growing." She said then put gel on my stomach.
"Let's take a peek." She said then put the wand on my belly.
"Let's listen to that heartbeat." She said then turned the sound on to play the noise of the baby's heart.
"Sounds good to me. A very healthy baby." She said with a reassuring smile.
"That's fast." Juniper said quietly. "That's because the heart is thiiiis big." Dr. Moore said and held her fingers up to show how small it was.
I was grateful that she was taking the time to include Juniper in this.
I think it helped her feel a little better.
"And there's your baby." The doctor said and pointed to the little blob on the screen. "That's crazy." Sam said, causing me to look over at him.
He had tears in his eyes as he looked at the screen.
I didn't expect to see him get so emotional but I guess it was hard to grasp that I was pregnant with Colby's baby.
His best friend who was a big time crime lord, was a dad to the little baby in my belly.
It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that Colby would never know about this baby, but I know he would have loved to be a dad.
I would have loved to see him be a dad.
