25 ~ Crown Of Thornes

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My mind was blank as I stared at the concrete that surrounds me. The only thing in the room was the metal bed that I currently sat on. After being declared winners of the games we were taken out of the arena in a hovercraft, then shipped back to the Capitol. I thought that would be the end of it, that we'd get to go home. But as soon as we landed teams of people came to separate us all.

I clung to Cato like he was everything I had, all I wanted was to be with him but they pulled us apart. Took us both to our rooms as well as Katniss and Peeta to prepare for the upcoming celebrations and interviews.

As my thoughts and worries consume me I finally hear a sound all too familiar. The light taps of shoes walking down the empty hallway outside, and within seconds the sound of the metal doors sliding open. Serenity steps in, tears dripping down her smooth skin as she leaps forwards to hug me. It took me a second but eventually, I hug back. Too broken and empty on the  inside to even shed a tear.

"You did it! I'm so proud of you Y/n," She says while standing back to look me in the eyes. "Thank you," Is all I can mutter back before silence quickly takes over.

She shouldn't be proud of me, nobody should. I don't feel like a winner, I feel terrible, sad, and lonely. Everything on the inside makes me feel guilty, because all I had accomplished was becoming a monster. I had murdered people to escape, if anyone should be praised it should be them for their sacrifice. A pointless sacrifice that shouldn't have even happened in the first place.

Before the games I remember how nervous I was, thinking about how I would bring myself to kill a human being, but it happened so quickly. When the time came I had no hesitation to kill, even while fighting Cato I was trying to end him to ensure my victory. A victory is not worth anything. They had gambled my life, the Capitol had gambled all of our lives just for their entertainment, and I was just one of the lucky few who beat the odds. Odds that were most definitely not in our favor.

Serenity finally wipes her tears and snaps her fingers, within seconds her team was already rushing into the room, all with different outfits and jewelry. "So, we have to prepare for your interviews and the crowning. Any requests for your outfit?" She asks while pointing to the rack of clothes behind her. I shake my head, her eyes falling as she stares at me.

She knew I was not the same person that she met when I got here, I knew it too. I had changed, but I still didn't know if it was for the worse or the better. At least I now knew how cruel the Capitol really was.

"Alright, you're all done," She says while stepping back to look me up and down. Her team had already left and It was just the two of us, it was exactly like the night of my first interview with Caesar.

She had done it again and I almost forgot how nice it was to wear fancy clothes. In the arena, I looked like a savage animal, exactly how the people of the capitol viewed me. But now as I stare back at myself I don't see that, I see one of them. I look like one of them, and I hated that I somewhat liked it.

I knew my life was going to be easier now that I had won, I would never have to worry about going hungry again and I'd have access to most clothes and accessories from the Capitol. On the surface I hated it, I felt like I didn't deserve it, but deep down it's all I've ever wished for. The kid that had died inside of me a long time ago would have loved this outfit, I probably would have never taken it off. Even now I still love it, but I loved Serenity even more. She was the best person I had met in the Capitol, and I am so thankful to have her.

"The gold vines embroidered on your shirt were meant to represent the forests of District 7, I tried my best based on the limited information I had," She says while patting my back. I smiled for the first time since I had gotten back here. My shirt was all black except for the gold vines running all over it, the same as the pants. They were beautiful, and they reminded me of home."It's perfect," I whisper.

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