I'll Bury You for This (JTK X M! Reader)

Boys Don't Cry

August 16th. 6:37pm.

I jolted awake at the sound of the USA national anthem playing. I groaned loudly, my hands roaming the bed for my phone.

I picked it up and stopped the music. Goodnite Dr. Death? I thought I took that off my playlist..

I rubbed my face and combed my fingers through my hair. I look over at the clock. "Shit." 6:38pm? I went to sleep directly after school.

Dammit. This is exactly why I usually don't take naps after school. I stood up and stretched, my muscles sore from the position I fell asleep in.

I looked around the dark room, my eyes not yet adjusted to the absence of light. The sudden noise coming from my stomach makes me realize how hungry I am.

"Goddammit." I swear, opening my door as quietly as I can. I peak my head out, glaring down the hallway to see the blue light from the tv lighting up the living room.

I take a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for if John is awake. I take small, slow steps down the hall so as to not make any sound.

I continue on until I'm by the edge of the wall, peeping around it. I couldn't help the sigh of relief from coming out of my mouth. He's asleep, his mouth slack open- saliva trailing down his lip onto the couch cushion. Gross.

I keep my footsteps at a low volume, but I quicken my pace as I walk to the kitchen. I look around and decide to settle for a few snacks and the water I didn't finish in my room. I take a few granola bars and a muffin, then make my way back to my room silently.

I drop the snacks down onto the bed and go back to the door, shutting it as quiet as I can. I sit down on my bed and take my book out of my backpack.

I ripped open the plastic off of the granola bar, taking a bite as I opened the book to the page I left off on.

Hours go by without me being aware of it. I can always spend hours upon hours with just a book. Reading takes me away from everything and gives me a different reality to be caught up in, if only temporarily.

Sometimes I'll catch myself daydreaming about if I were a character in the book. Whether I be a student in Harry Potter, a half-blood in Percy Jackson, or a vampire in Twilight, everything in books seems much better than the reality I live in; the reality I have to deal with.

I try not to daydream because of it. What's the point in wishing for something when you know it's not going to happen? That'll only end up in disappointment, and red and swollen eyes, which isn't pleasant.

It's 10:48 pm by the time I put my book down. I didn't realize how tired I was getting until then. I yawned, rubbing my eyes. I feel tired, but I don't really want to go to sleep.

I hate going to sleep because tomorrow is another day. Another day filled with endless questions and people. Godawful people.

I put my book back in my bag and lie down on the bed. The covers were shoved aside from earlier so I pulled them over my torso. I take my phone and go on instagram.

I scroll through my homepage a bit, getting bored of that rather quickly. I bite my lip and decide to go to Xander's page. A foolish decision that was.

He posted on his story 10 minutes ago. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I pushed myself to watch it. I stare at the screen without letting myself process what I'm watching.

It doesn't surprise me, but it doesn't make me happy. Haley or Jade or whoever he said the girl was that he went home with, was in his lap. Xander had taken photos of her kissing him and a few with her basically chewing on his neck.