Thinking about you

Chapter one

The rain is beating down on the car. The view is blurry and the flames of the car are lighting up the highway that is normally so dark. One car looks like it's wrapped arround the barrier seperating the two sides of the highway the flames are ingulfing the front of the car. The other one is about fifty feet down the road the side completely crashed in and the driver is in the middle of the road being treated by two emt's. Another four are helping the two girls from the other car. The police is looking at everything. One of the girls is awake screaming out to the other one. Yelling out apologies and pleads for forgiveness. The other one is unconscious blood dripping from her wounds to the ground.
By the time the carfire is put out the girls are already in the hospital.
By the time one is in stable condition the other one is still fighting for her life.
And by the time one of the girls is awake it is sure that the other one will never wake again.

Alyana Brast beloved daughter, sister and friend.
Left our world too young.

The words are starting to get blurry because of all of her tears but she can not turn away. Because here lies her best friend, the only on who can understand her, her other half.
For over a year now. And she can not change that, nothing will ever change what happened that night. Allison looks at her one last time before she has to turn around, before she has to leave her again. At least until tomorrow until she will be back here like every day since she has left the hospital. It became a part of her routine. Get up, take her pills, brush her teeth, get ready, try to eat something, go to the grave and do wathever she has to do for the day always thinking about that day. It does not matter if she is in school, at home, in her therapy sessions, at work or alone in her room. That day always haunts her, it is always there with her in her head.
Allison pops in her headphones and walks away. The big brown door to her house opens when she turns her key opening up her house and the memories start flooding her head.

Alya runs through the door soaked from head to toe the storm outside does not seem like it is going to stop anytime soon. Alli is already in the process of taking off her shoes both laughing so loud, the whole world could hear them, Alli's dog sunny is shaking himself creating a puddle of rainwater under him. After Alya and Alli changed their clothes and dried their hair they start with their weekly movie night popcorn in one hand and something to drink in the other sitting on the couch in her livingroom enjoing this weeks movie pick. It is always a nostalgic one a disney film or just some kind of childhood movie like 13 going on 30, Harry Potter or Brave.

Memories always make Allison sad she tries to forget them. It is easier then remembering all of the good times with her best friend knowing she can not make any new ones and it is all her fault.
Looking at her phone she sees that her mother texted her what she has to do today reminding her of her therapy session at 4. Misses Johnson or what Allison calls her Maggie is her fifth therapist since the accident and the only one that she has actually talked to. The other ones just were not a good fit. She did not feel like she could ever actually tell them what she felt but this one is just different. With the other ones she always counted down the minutes when she could leave again but now the time basically flies. So that is something she can look foward to today talking to her therapist. It seems pathetic but that is everything that her life has been since the accident pathetic.
How she wakes up everyday not being able to live her life without thinking about that day.
Without thinking about what she could have done differently.
Without thinking about what could have been if she was just more careful.
Without thinking about the past and getting lost in her head.
It all seems so pathetic but she has to try if not for Allison herself then for Alyana. That is the one thing Allison has realized since the accident. That she can not stop living her life that she has to enjoy every second of it because you never know when it will stop. When you could never enjoy anything anymore but of course it is hard. And even though Allison has made that realization she can not do that but she always tries her best.
Allison starts working off her chores Maggie said it helps a lot having that kind of routine after a traumatizing event. So now she gets a text like this every day and every day she gives herself one hour to do her chores. After that she showers and gets ready to leave for her trerapy session.
It is a five minute drive but Allison prefers to walk the half an hour. Allison still drives but not if it is avoidable and she definitely does not drive with other people in the car. That is one thing she is actively working on right now driving with other people in the car. But it is hard and she has not been able to get out of her driveway if another Person sits in the car.
Sitting in the waiting room infront of Maggie's office she looks at the Picture on the wall. It seems like someone just threw paint on a canvas and called it a day but it still manages to look intriguing it has something about it that reminds her of something but she just can not place what it reminds her off. So everytime since her first therapy session she sits in the same chair looking at that picture and tries to figure out what it reminds her of.
Allison automatically gets up when the door opens and Maggie greets her with her cheery "Hello Allison". In the office she sits down on the couch and turns off her Phone. Maggie sits down on the chair in front if her and looks down on her notes.
And without having to ask Allison tells her about her week what she has done and how she tried to drive with her mom in the passenger seat but how she could not bring herself to actually start the car. Maggie just listens and occasionally writes something down so that at the end of the session she can tell her what else she can do to ease her anxiety or what she could do to make it easier to motivate herself and get out of her thought spirales.
When her therapy session ends at five she says goodbye to Maggie and walks back home trying to remember that she has told her and thinking about whag she could do with the rest of her spring break.
When she is back in her bedroom she looks at her acceptance letter thinking about Alya and how they were supposed to go to college together. She twirls the letter in her hand only putting it back down on her desk when her phone rings.