Chapter Nineteenth Why Does My Heart Make a Fool Out of Me?

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Chapter Nineteenth

Why Does My Heart Make a Fool Out of Me?

~Ray’s POV~

I waited till Mikey was fully sleep to get up and walk out of his room. Closing his door gently, I started to walk into the waiting room after turning back to Mikey’s room and looking through the large windows that allowed me to peer at him once more.

The waiting area was freezing and empty, it was 11 at night and it was dark. I strutted over to one of the small burgundy chairs that were lined across the wall. Frank and Bob took Jamia and Lindsey for some dinner and then back home a few hours ago, leaving me with a still fuming Gerard. Gerard probably went outside to update him and Mikey’s parents about the incident.

I sobbed into my hands; the fact of Mikey still bothers me ever so much. Even if he said he forgave me, I don’t think I can forgive myself…Yeah some people may say that I was stuck in a hard place, I loved two people equally. One, who was able to give me everything I wanted and the other, who was everything I wanted…how can you choose between people you loved?

I heard the front door of the waiting room open; I looked up and noticed the semi tall, black haired man walk through the door. “Ray?” he whispered tiredly. Quickly, I started wiping my face and looking away from him “Yeah Gerard” I said looking back up to him.

 he started walking over to the chair next to me, “Ray, what’s the news?” He asked, standing above me.

I sniffled and said “Mikey just woke up and the doctor said he was stable and can’t come home until next week but…”

Gerard sighed; he took the seat next to me and looked at me, “Okay that’s good…But what I meant was…the news with you and Mikey…and don’t tell me there isn’t any because you over hear crying like a teenage girl who just missed her period, and it hurts me to see my friends cry…now talk to me, I’m here for you buddy.

“Gerard, aren’t you supposed to be mad at me? For leaving behind your brother?”

“Ray that’s old news…I don’t hold grudges now talk to me!” he said with authority in his voice.

I sighed and sat back in the seat, putting my fingers in my hair and trying to find the right way to explain what I did without getting slapped or punched.

“Gerard…Well the days I was like…missing…I was with Christa and um I asked her to marry me, and we were going to elope but I got the call about Mikey and told her I had to go back. So I just told Mikey what happened and I told him I don’t love him but it’s a lie, I’m still torn I still love them both. The reason I left is because Mikey lied about the baby I just found out I had and it hurt to actually believe and realize that he would do that to me… AND I’m sorry Gerard, I’m sorry that I caused all of this…uh drama and that he’s in the hospital because of me…I’m a fucking horrible person I know” I said, almost out of breath.

I looked up to Gerard, he was nodding his head and I guess trying to process everything. I looked back at the ground and sighed.

Gerard looked at me and with two quick motions, slapped me twice across my face. “OWE WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!” I yelled, rubbing my inflamed cheek.

He gave me an evil smirk and said “One’s for breaking my brothers heart…the other is for saying you are horrible because you’re confused. Ray, you can’t help who you love okay…you also can’t help what you choose. I mean you my friend are in a tough pickle…choosing from Christa, who is AMAZING…or my brother, who is equally amazing. I knew when Mikey told me about him liking you was going to a blessing and a curse, yet I had no other choice but to accept it. Look, I always know you and Mikey would have a thing together I could tell by the way you guys looked at each other and the way you talked to each other. It was different, it  was magic…I always knew you and Mikey were perfect for each other…that is until you met Christa…Christa is like a female you, and as creepy as that may sound…it’s also an astounding thing you found. She’s beautiful, nurturing, smart, forgiving, and forgivable everything you would want in a woman…So yeah my dear Raymond, you had a tough decision. And I know it can be hard but you will get over it okay, TRUST ME when I say this because I was in the same predicament before…and although it took me a while to get over it, I did and that’s all that matters okay. This is going to sound MAJOR Disney but the best advice I got for you is go where your heart leads you okay”

The only thing I could do was look at Gerard, despite his uh…Gerard-ness…he really is a sweet heart who really cares and will give the wisest words to assure that you smile. Although I was a bit confused about what he meant when he said that he’s been in this predicament before…When has Gerard every been thought what I’ve been through?

“Gerard…I’m confused…when have you ever been in a predicament like this?” I asked.

He smiled and said quietly, “Ah Raymond, that’s a story for another time…”

Still confused, I asked “Wait, can you at least tell me with whom?”

He laughed and sighed, “Well…” he stopped talking when he heard his phone ring. He dug in his pocket and pulled it out, looking at it and smiling. “Wow…it’s Frank…” he whispered quietly before getting up and going outside with it. “I’ll be back, I have to take this okay…you should go home… I can watch Mikey.” he said, getting up and walking out the room.

I watched the door close and smirked; I laid back in the sit and closed my eyes, I could never leave Mikey….well not again.

I sat in silence thinking about everything, putting it all into a perspective, a plan. I may not get over it now…but I guess that’s the price of falling in love twice.

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