The only other thought that he could think other from him being different.. was that the members had found out about his sexuality or even his feelings for his group member Jongseob. And that was the thought that scared him the most. He really had just hoped he was just to different for the members.
The thought of everything made his heartache, Soul really was not sure when it started. When his members started spending less and less time with him and more with each other. The boy really felt left out and neglected. The feeling made him miss home, made him miss Japan. Shota missed his family, he missed playing with his little sister. He missed speaking his native language with his friends and family, and making it easier on himself because he actually understood all the words that were said to him, and he always knew how to respond back. But in Korea, he couldn't do that, he had a hard time understanding things or saying things. Which would make the members annoyed having to help the poor boy. Shot missed seeing familiar places every day. He missed it because his members didn't think Shota was worth hanging out with which made him just miss his little sister and friends more.
Honestly, what was he even doing in P1harmony?he would often think. What was he doing in Korea? Would he be better off just leaving the group and returning home; returning to his younger sister who would always be there to make him smile, his mother who would always give him comfort and the most loving and warm hugs, his father who always encourages him and tells the boy he will always be there for Shota. Should he return to see his youngest sister through her teenage years after missing so much of her growing up already?
As Shota was drifting off into his thoughts, staring out the window, he didn't notice his 2 roommates enter their shared bedroom speaking and laughing to themselves. But when they shut the door behind thems, Shota was snapped out of his thoughts and caught a bit of their conversation.
"I think tommorrow would be a great day to have a picnic, maybe we should have it on the beach," Jongseob said.
"you're right, I'll tell the Jiung, Keeho, and Intak tomorrow then?" Theo responded.
Shota heard Jongseob hum, as if he was contemplating something before he spoke, "Alright, but I doubt Shota would want to go. So it can just be the 5 of us."
Shota looked at the two after hearing Jongseob say that. Why wouldn't he want to go? Shota felt his heart break a little. Did they really just assume he wouldn't want to hang out with them after they spent months doing things without him?
"Oh Shota, we didn't see you" Theo said finally noticing the the young boy staring at them sitting on the window ciel.
Shot gave a slight nod and looked away. "yeah ok... Anyways what were you both talking about?" Shota responded glancing back at them awkwardly.
The two looked at him awkwardly before Jongseob responded to the dancer, "There's this movie that we really wanna see then we are going on a picnic"
Shota just stared at the two for a moment before nodding slowly. "Oh," The Japanese boy was quite hurt but he was getting used to it anyways. I mean it still hurt But they also didn't know how Shota felt so, he never brought it up it wouldn't be fair to them.
At Soul's small response and blank stare, the two looked at each other before Seob looked at Shota,
"Um, you could come with us if you want Soul-ssi?"
'I can tell you don't want me there... will you two please just leave' Soul thought to himself. As much as he wanted to spend time with his members, he'd rather not be invited to go somewhere with them out of pity. It honestly hurt, they intentionally didn't want to ask Shota to go with them even all 5 of them were going. But now that Soul heard them, they are gonna try to invite him along with them out of guilt. 'Damn, I didn't think they disliked hanging out with me that much' Shota just thought.
Chapter 1
Start from the beginning
