67| No more runnin'

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Alyssa
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I'm such a mess that I spend the morning training with Maddie to clear my head. She can tell I'm upset, so obviously, my acting skills need work, but I don't tell her what happened. Not only would she rip Max a new one, but right now, I just want to focus on releasing this pressure, which means hitting something. In this case, Maddie.

Over in the ring, she motions for me to join her. I step forward, feeling the coolness of the aircon on my face. The gentle untwisting of the knots in my stomach. I tighten my glove straps, trying my hardest to focus on the simple things, like the familiar protection they provide or the lightness in my step as I bound toward the ring.

The air is thick with the distinct scent of sweat. Maddie shifts before me, cradling the worn-out training pads in her hands. She looks different this morning, brighter for one, like maybe she's having one of those mornings – the kind I haven't had in forever.

"You look happy," I say teasingly. "Morning sex?"

She laughs a little, keeping the mitts at forehead height, a few inches before her, and angled inward slightly. "You're here to train, not comment on my sex life. Get in position."

I do as I'm told, raising my chin as I focus on the center of her pads. I prefer the pads to the heavy bag sometimes. They force you to focus on something in particular, whether it's rhythm, accuracy, or in this case, speed. Scratch that, anger.

The anticipation builds within me as I prepare to unleash, and then I realize how crazy that is. Once upon a time, my way of relaxing was to hit Rodeo Drive with Tiana. Now it's punching something.

"Ready when you are, Liss."

I don't need telling twice. My fists explode with power as they collide with Maddie's pads, the impact resounding through my body. I feel the energy in my arms, the strength coiling my tendons with each strike. Jab, cross, hook, hab, cross hook. What once felt impossible comes as naturally as breathing.

Easier.

"Good," Maddie says, grinning. "Just tighten up."

I do as she asks, centering my punches in the middle of the pads. The longer we go, the clearer it becomes how angry I am. Scratch that, furious. At my parents, at Max.

Everyone's set on doing what's best for me; nobody stops to think about what I want. It's why, deep down, I'd agreed to this fight in the first place. For once, I'm doing something completely unexpected that doesn't serve anyone else.

Something just for me.

The urge to punch somebody right now is intense, and unfortunately for Maddie, she's in my firing line. I land another blow to the pads, nearly sending her stumbling.

"I'm glad we're not sparring today," she jokes, but I can't bring myself to smile. All I can think about is everything that happened, how powerless I've felt, and I refuse to ever feel that way again.

"Hey," Maddie says, frowning, "is everything okay?"

I'm about to tell her I don't want to talk about it, which is true, technically, but keeping it inside isn't the brightest idea either. I'd usually go to Tiana with these things, but the truth is, as understanding as she tries to be, sometimes it feels like we're no longer on the same page. She's still in their world, living the life of money and glamor, and doesn't get why I want to stay away from it.

"Max told me he's sorry," I say through tight, controlled punches. "He never explicitly said he wanted to get back together, but that's the impression I got."

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