Delilah

Chapter 14

"Delilah, come on get up your gonna be late for college!"

I turn over in my bed, away from the sun shining bright through my blinds. "5 more minutes mom, I'm to tired " I grumble into my pillow. I hear her footsteps coming towards my door, with instinct, I grip onto my sheets knowing what's coming. Mom enters my room sighing, as she grabs the bottom of my cover attempting to drag it away from me.

"Mommm, I'm not going"

"yes you are lilah! You haven't been in for a week now let's go. Now!!"

I groan as I lift myself up, rubbing my eyes to adjust my sight. There she is. Stood at the bottom of my bed, hands on her hips, her long, brown curly hair, hanging over her shoulders, reaching her hips. Her stern look, as if she's ready to cave my head in.
"I'm getting up" I say as I force myself up and make my way to the bathroom.

"Mom?" I sit up, searching around my room for her. It was a dream. She's not here. It wasn't real. Tears fill my eyes as I quietly get out of bed and walk towards the bathroom. I look at the clock to see the time, it's still pitch black outside so it can't be early.
'3:02am' it says. Great. Rick must've carried me to bed, I still can't help but feel a world of guilt for him, after all he's done, I still feel it.

I scan my face in the mirror, I have my moms nose, covered in freckles, like hers. I smile down at myself. She always loved my freckles. She said it brings out my baby face, which is what she loved most. She said she dreads for me to get older. She can't stand the thought of me growing up, I used to say it's because she can't handle my teenage attitude hence she wished I'd stay a kid forever. She hated the thought that one day I'll grow up and wont be her baby anymore. But I was, I will and always will be her baby, no matter the age, or where we are. I pull my hair to the left side of my shoulder, detangling my curls. Mom used to always do my hair, I never enjoyed it, but she did. She knew I hated my hair being interfered with but I didn't mind it when it was her. Partly because it made her smile, partly because I secretly liked it.

I hate that she's not here. I feel like I'm fading away. A chunk of me has gone with her. I don't think I will ever move past this, how can I. She was the only one who understood me. The only one there for me. I got her and she got me. And now. I feel empty. I feel so much pain that I can physically feel it. The heavy, achiness in my heart that I know will never go away.

I take a second look in the mirror, but it's not me I see. It's her. Everyone always said I look just like her. I never used to see it but now, all I see is her. I resemble so much of her. Selfishly I hate it, how can I look at someone who looks just like her without wanting to curl up into a ball and cry. All I do is avoid looking at myself. I can't handle thinking about her. Knowing I'll never see her again.

I walk over to my bed, and slide into the covers. The only escape I have is sleep. You feel nothing when you sleep. It's an escape to reality. I close my eyes, letting the darkness consume me.

*SMASH* I dart up from my pillow scanning the room wide eyed. I hurriedly get out of bed and make my way down stairs. I acknowledged the surroundings before entering the kitchen where I can hear Rik cursing and mumbling to himself. I peep my head over and watch as he grips on to the island with his hands, head bowed down towards his chest.

"You okay?" I ask in a seethingly small tone, not wanting to push anything.

"Am I okay? No Delilah! I'm not fucking okay!! I've lost my fucking job! Can't do one fucking thing right huh?? It's bullshit this is fucking BULLSHIT!!" I flinch at his sudden tone of voice. I understand why he lost his job, he hasn't been in for two weeks. I see the frustration and anger in his face as he scans the email on his phone again.