Favorite Roommate || Nikki Sixx

Chapter Sixxty Sixx

     Whiskey A Go Go, Night 2 went similar to night one, or so I was told. I didn't go. I avoided everyone and kept myself busy with errands just so I didn't have to talk to anybody. I've been debating whether my relationship with all the boys is even worth it. I know that it would be beneficial to actually cut things off with all of them... unfortunately Nikki too. He just makes me feel so alive and I don't want to come down from that high. But do I deserve all the screaming and fights and being told the only thing Im good for is sex? Is he my blessing or my to-be killer?

     In about 16 minutes, it will be Valentine's Day. How romantic to be spending such a day without the person I love. Who needs love when you have strawberry wine and Dolly Parton singing 9 to 5 on the TV? I expected to be alone the rest of the night but Nikki must've wanted to turn in early. "Why are you home?"
     "I didn't expect you to not actually show up... you never miss a show." he said, hanging up his leather jacket. "I didn't see you during the show, I would have figured you would have come when we were already on but then you weren't backstage afterward." He paused and I twirled my thumbs still avoiding eye contact. "I was there for ten minutes and I left. I didn't want to be there if you weren't."
     "You could have stayed. I don't care" I responded barely above a whisper.
     Nikki scoffed and sat down on the couch next to me "Am I wasting my breath here? You're not even upset- you're not apologizing or even explaining to me where the hell you've been all day!" Nikki looked at me, waiting for an answer. I didn't have one. "Is there something going on? Something you need to tell me?... I'll sit here and listen if that's what you need... just please tell me something."
     I stood silent for about a minute "I think I just need time." I said quietly. Nikki didn't say anything, he sat, waiting for me to speak the next words. "Alone... maybe... I just have a few things to think about."
      Nikki didn't say anything, just bit the inside of his cheek. "Everything... will turn out how it's supposed to. It always does. And even if neither of us like that outcome, that's what it was meant to be." he sighed.
     "Do you think we bit off a little more than we could chew? I mean we've been putting ourselves through a lot recently."
     "We probably went too fast when we should have used that time to figure out other things. I know you so well, yet I don't really know much about you." He admitted.
     I scoff to myself  "Honestly... I could say the same. I don't know a thing about you. I mean I don't even know if you want kids- or even if marriage is in your plan..."
      "Well Isabelle, I'll tell you this. Both of those things, I will eventually want but I want to wait for the right timing. That time doesn't seem to be any time soon either. For me, being a guy, it doesn't really matter when I get married. For you, it's different. You're going to want to marry within the next three or four years and then start a family. And that timeline isn't the same as what I've always wanted. Motley needs to hit really big before the idea of settling down starts to cross my mind." What I thought I wanted is all falling apart. I should have just kept my mouth shut but now I actually might be losing the love of my life. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks and a lump forms in my throat not letting me speak. I start crying harder from my regret. Nikki pulls me in for a hug "I know.. I know" he kissed the top of my head. "If it helps you make a decision, I would rather keep trying to fix this than give up. But it's hard for me to set a timeline for my life until I know I have a future. If you don't mind waiting for me for a few years, I would be more than happy to start a real life with you. It just takes time."
     I wipe my tears from my face and attempt to speak "What if we don't make it?"
     "I promise to try my hardest to make sure it works, but if it doesn't..." he trailed off. "Isabelle?"
     "Yeah, Nikki?" I look up at him with my red eyes.
     "I think, after tomorrow's show, I'm going to go up to Twin Falls and spend some time with my Nona. It will probably be best for both of us to take a breather from one another. We need some space."
     "Oh god, this is the end isn't it" I cry through my words.
     "No, it's not. Don't believe that for a second.

     I pretty much cried myself to sleep in Nikki's arms the rest of the night. My brain was just so exhausted and was in need of rest. The last night at the Whiskey went more than well and Nikki and I were on decent terms. It feels like we just met for the first time again, but it's awkward. Nikki took me out for a little lunch date for Valentine's Day since we knew we couldn't do dinner. Despite both of our hesitation we still made love but it felt like he loved me like he'll never love me again, and that broke my heart.

     Nikki was packing his bag on the bed, almost ready to leave. "Hey Nik, you should probably have this."
     "What is it?" he asked.
     "It's a card. A guy from Elektra saw you play and I think you should give him a call. He sounded promising, but who's to say."
     "Thanks, Iz" he smiled while putting it in his wallet.
     I was about to walk out the door when I stopped myself at the frame "Hey what was the name on the card? I never looked."
     "Uhhh" he pulled the card back out "It's uh Doc McGhee. Looks like he's a manager or something."
     "Hm," I nod. Makes sense why he called himself "Doctor". "Bye Nikki.
     He smiled with sincerity "Bye Isabelle."
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