Safe & Sound

15

Emma came over the next day for lunch. She brought pizza and a few books. Cyfrin left earlier to meet up with Xavier and James for a few hours.

"I heard what happened," Emma said, opening the umbrella over the table near the pool. It was a nice day out, and they were going to swim after they ate. "Not much of course, but just enough so I can help."

"I was so embarrassed," Amena whispered. "It's not like I didn't like-"

"I know. It's okay, we're going to make this work." Emma smiled.

Despite the awkward, Emma gave her a very thorough run down of female anatomy and sex.

"Every month?" Amena asked when Emma brought up periods. "I get them very rarely."

"Really?" Emma asked. "Did you talk to your doctor?"

"Dr. Amy asked me about them. She didn't seem surprised when I told her," Amena admitted.

Dr. Amy had said it was because her body was on survival mode. Amena hadn't realized how important they actually were, and how dangerously ill she had been before. Cyfrin really had saved her life.

Despite now being in the know about sex, it didn't ease the feelings of immaturity she felt.

She felt unworthy.

"I know what you are thinking," Emma whispered. "I felt the same way with Xavier."

"You did?"

Emma nodded. "I felt like he was way out of my league and I was holding him back, but then I realized that his feelings were true and genuine, and so were mine."

She continued, "It's normal to have insecurities. You just can't let them consume your relationship. You can't guess how Cyfrin feels. You have to communicate with him."

"Thank you," Amena said after a moment.

"That's what friends are for." Emma gave her another bright smile. "Want to swim?"

---

Cyfrin was avoiding her. He didn't come home until long after she was in bed.

It was Monday, and he had already left for work by the time she woke up.

She couldn't stop her mind from running one hundred miles an hour. This was the worst case scenario. He had realized that this wasn't what he wanted.

And she completely understood why. She couldn't blame him for getting tired of taking care of her. Women were supposed to cook and clean. That's what her father had told her.

She stayed in her room most of the day, trying to come up with a few rough drafts for her commissioned painting.

Cyfrin knocked on her door, startling her.

"I made us some dinner," he said.

She nodded, following him out of the room and to the kitchen. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

The salmon he had made was incredible, but the silence was deafening.

"Are you mad at me?" Amena asked, feeling her throat clog with emotion.

"Of course not," Cyfrin said, looking up from his plate to meet her eyes. "I've just had a long day."

She knew that wasn't true, not the whole reason.

"Please," she whispered.

He sighed. "I don't know. After the other night, I can't shake the feeling that I've manipulated you in some way. I worry that your feelings for me are only because I was the first to be nice to you."

"It's so much more than that," she whimpered, feeling her lip wobble.

"Maybe," he said. "But if you haven't been out in the real world, how do you even know?"

Amena muffled the deep, painful sob with her hand, unable to control the flood of tears that immediately followed.

"You want me to leave," she cried. She struggled to catch her breath, trying to wipe at her cheeks.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked. "You're not a prisoner."

"I know that." She hiccupped, struggling to catch her breath. "I don't want to leave. I want to be here, with you."

Cyfrin came to her. Finally.

He crouched down to wrap his arms around her.

He cradled her, keeping a firm hand on the back of her head as she cried.

"I've got you," he hushed. "You're okay, baby."

She didn't realize that Cyfrin had insecurities of his own. She had always imagined him as so strong, so invincible. Relationships were a lot of work, and she needed to make more effort in showing him that she loved him.

"I shouldn't have upset you like that," Cyfrin said, kissing her face. "I'm sorry."

She continued to cry. "I don't want to be at any other place. I want to be with you."

"I know," he soothed, his hand running along her back. "I don't want you to leave. That's not in anyway what I meant."

She settled against him, gripping his shirt between her fists.

"I'm better because of you," she managed. "Only you. There's nobody else."

Her mind was panicked. She needed him to know how much he meant to her. She struggled to tell him in words, and against the tears that still continue to fall. Her deep sobs had caused her to struggle to catch her breath.

"Where would I be without you?" she cried. "I don't think I would be alive if it weren't for you."

Cyfrin continued to coo, saying sweet things to settle the mess of tears. He dried her cheeks.

"I feel the same way," he whispered, cupping her cheeks. "I just felt like I was going through the motions of life, but being with you has been so incredible. I feel so honored that I get to show you how beautiful life can be."