hate me - eren jaeger [DISCONTINUED]

30

The light spilled in through the window like a water fountain, drenching my eyes in sunlight.

My eyes fly open and all I can see is the wooden ceiling above me. Events of the past few hours flow through my mind at a rapid pace and I turn to look at Reiner.

He sleeps, blond lashes fluttering gently. The furrow on his brow is long gone, replaced with a look of peace. I don't wake him as I get up and go to the bathroom, splashing water on my face to wake myself up.

When I look at myself in the mirror, the woman staring back at me seems almost foreign. It's been so long since I've looked into a mirror and actually admired what I saw.

A metallic scissor sits on the basin and without hesitation, I cut my hair. I watch as strands and clumps fall to the ground and into the sink. What's left is a short, shaggy bob. My hair now reaches just below my chin.

I sigh and tie my hair in a half-up, half-down. And when I'm finished, I realize I tied my hair like Eren.

Tears begin to prick at my eyes and I untie my hair, letting out a frustrated grunt.

My eyes dip down to the key I wear around my neck, tucked under my shirt. It once comforted me but now it feels like poison.

"I won't talk to you, look at you, or even think of you ever again. You will be nothing to me. Nothing at all."

I stand over the basin, looking down at the sink, tears falling from my eyes and mixing with my severed hair. That kiss meant something to me, it meant more than something. But the way he treats me, the way he pushes me around and acts like I'm his property makes me sick.

First how he manipulated me into getting into a carriage with him, then how he practically held me hostage in the Path. It seemed more to me like this whole affection thing he had going on with me was nothing but a lie.

A sob escapes my lips and I look up into the mirror at my bloodshot eyes, my tearstained face.

All these tears over a man? All these tears over a man that doesn't even love you?

The pain in my heart felt more immense than any injury I had ever endured. And as I stared into my own eyes, I realize that this is the only type of pain I'll never be able to heal.

I wipe away my tears and take a deep breath, breathing in and out.

It is not that painful. I need to calm myself. It's not that bad. How could I be hurt over something that was never there to begin with? I didn't lose anything. I'm still the same. I'm still here, I'm still alive.

I sigh and tie up my hair again, but this time, I don't untie it. Because I've found a new purpose, a new reason to keep going.

I have to kill Eren.

Reiner's eyes widen when he sees my new haircut. "W-wow... I..." He blinks, continuing to stare at me.

Instant regret fills me to the brim and I feel my face heat up, turning away from him. "M-my hair was getting in my face too much."