hate me - eren jaeger [DISCONTINUED]

29

He doesn't turn to look at me. "I guess we both have our own goals," he murmurs.

"Did you ever even mean that kiss?" The question shoots out of my mouth. And I've realized I've become more impulsive over the past few days.

He stays silent for a while, then turns around to face me. He stares at me, there is no emotion in his eyes. I find the answer within the depths of the grassy meadows that are his eyes. I find the answer before his lips move to tell me, "no."

I let out a small scoff. No amount of knowing could actually prepare me for his answer.

"Then why force me to stay here?"

"You mistook my actions for affection," his voice remains monotone. "I want to keep you out of my way because you may complicate things."

I nod slowly, trying to deflect what he had just shot my way.

We both remain quiet, and I refuse to look at him. I refuse to look at those emotionless eyes. They're make me feel so useless, so demeaning.

"I can't believe I thought felt something for you at some point," I scoff again, glancing at him to gauge his reaction. Something in his eyes shifts but his face remains the same.

The corner of his mouth twitches. "So you're saying you don't anymore?"

I shake my head. "I'm saying I never did. That I was just lonely and depressed." I look him in the eyes as I say it. "When I look at you, I see nothing. I feel nothing."

"And when you kiss me?"

The question catches me off guard. My throat burns and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep my lips from trembling.

"What did you feel when you kissed me?" He asks again, obviously impatient for my response. He was frowning now, his eyes burning holes into my face.

"Nothing." The word feels like acid as it leaves my mouth. "Nothing," I repeat, but the second time was for myself. To believe in it. To affirm it. I feel nothing for him. I feel nothing for him. I feel nothing for him. I feel nothing for him.

He nods, seemingly unbothered. "I'm glad we feel the same," he takes a deep breath and clises his eyes. When he reopens them, he looks at me head to toe, his gaze slow and steady. He meets my eyes again and he lets out a shaky breath, his eyes turned up as if he was a little sad. "Don't ever show me your pleading, pathetic eyes. They're... Disappointing. I never liked them."

In a flash, I'm back to my body. The shotgun in my hand is still there, my finger on the trigger. Gabi looks up at me, stunned. There are no more bullets in the chamber.

A bright light emits just a few feet away from us and I have to shield my eyes in order to save my sight. The ground shakes beneath me, making me nauseous. The walls crack and crumble, debris flying everywhere. I shield my head instinctively as I'm knocked to the ground due to the sheer violence at which the ground shook.

A tiny hand clutched my arm, and I realized it was Gabi. She looked at me, fear in her eyes. And for a second, my heart shattered for her. I pushed her down onto the ground and huddled over her, shielding her from the debris that fell from the walls. She clutched my shirt tightly.

"W-what... is that..." Gabi breathes, looking over in the direction of the walls. I follow her gaze to see a huge, skeletal structure, moving forward with hoards of Colossal Titans.

"That's Eren," I whispered, getting off of her. I sit on my knees as I watch his new form drifting on the horizon. "That's Eren..." I say again, in disbelief.

He wouldn't have initiated the Rumbling if he wasn't truly on our side. No, not our side. He despises me. He is on Paradis' side.

"My family..." Gabi whimpers. "He's going to kill them."