and we scored

Scene 42

"It's a frat party. Everyone kinda is", Tessa replies, a bit amused. April doesn't back down.

"I didn't mean the party. I don't give the slightest shit what you do in your free time. You weren't invited to our dance. And that ruined our mood. So I'd ask you to back the fuck off."

I can't help but smirk, knowing that's my girl.

"I'm only here to talk to Nina, Davis. Chill", Tessa replies, making me a sign with her head to go outside, so we have some privacy. I'm not going anywhere with her. And April must have read my mind, since she adds: "I'm not going anywhere. If you have something to say, say it."

"I really think it's best to keep it between Nina and me", Tessa replies. I clench my fist together. April's arm returns on my shoulder. However, it's me who says the next thing:

"You have something to say, say it. April isn't going anywhere."

"As you wish", Tessa says matter-of-factly. "I've been thinking, and we didn't have the time to finish our conversation from the other day. How did you and Caden meet?"

My fist clenches again. And I feel the nails dig in my skin. April holds me closer.

"You already know that", I let out. Tessa chuckles.

"I might. But do you know that you were a deal?"

The blood freezes in my veins. With the last bit of strength I have, I ask: "I was a what?"

"A deal. Caden and I made it. He really wanted to get back together with me, yet I wasn't sure he deserved me. He needed to prove me someone else could also love him." She laughs again. "And that's where your part in this game begins. He had to date you for three months, to prove me I was wrong to let him go. Why else do you think he would ever date you? You don't necessarily have what it takes."

April snaps: "Watch what you say about my bestie."

Tessa just raises her shoulders and smirks. I think I stopped breathing. I can't feel my lungs. My heart is pounding in my chest, rage being the only thing that keeps me from falling. Sinking. I want to sink.

Yet I need some answers.

"I don't believe you", I hiss.

Tessa smirks: "I warned you you should have run away, girl."

She opens her mouth to say something else, yet I can't hear her anymore. I can't. So I do what she said. Run.

I run away, run outside. April wants to follow me, yet I give her a look, begging her to let me be alone for a few moments. She nods and goes back inside.

I sink on the top stair of the staircase. I try to make myself breathe again, however the air doesn't reach my lungs. I try to tell myself this is all a lie. And that Tessa is wrong. I was never a deal. Caden loves me. I know I love him.

I wasn't a deal.

Footsteps can be heard behind me. I don't have to turn around to know who it is. The shivering I feel is answer enough.

"We need to talk", Caden says and his voice makes me freeze. Because it proves me wrong. Tessa was right. He doesn't need to say it. His tone is answer enough.

I dare a look in his way. His eyes are set on the floor.

Guilty.

I think I might throw up.

"Was I a deal?" I manage to ask. 

He tenses. And for a moment, there is no reaction. It's then he whispers: "Nini, I..."

"Was I a fucking deal, Caden?" I ask again, stressing out every word. I am still holding on to a thread of hope. I need him to destroy that.

He takes a deep breath.

Then looks at me.

His eyes say everything he doesn't. Yes.

I can feel how my world starts spinning.

It's then he finally speaks again.

"It started like this, but now..."

He tries to explain himself. Find excuses.

"You are the one I love, Nini. I love you."

I feel how my feet start shivering and I thank the universe I had a bit of brain and sat down.

"My feelings for you where never a deal, Broadway. It was supposed to be easy. It was supposed to be all fake. But you made me feel what true love is. You made me fall in love with you."

It was supposed to be easy, he said. Destroying my life was supposed to be easy.

"I am so sorry, Broadway. I really am. I wanted to tell you, but I was always afraid. I was a coward. Please, Nini. Please. I love you. Please forgive me."

I am supposed to feel something. Rage. Pain. Anything. But he already wrecked my heart. I can feel it in pieces.

"Get the fuck away from me", I shout. He shakes once, clearly surprised. I am also surprised I still have voice to shout. I thought he destroyed that too.

"Broadway, please..."

"Get the fuck away from me! Get away!"

Instead, he comes closer. I back away from him, which he notices and puts some distance between us.

"Don't come near me again! We're done. Did you hear me?! We're fucking done! I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to be near you anymore."

He starts shivering. A tear rolls down his face.

"Please, love. Please..."

"I trusted you!", I found myself yelling again. "I trusted you. I showed you every part of me. I opened up to you. I loved you so much, I would have given you my whole world. I trusted you enough to show you all my scars. I showed you how broken I am. I thought you would be healing me. At least that's how it felt. Your love, it was all I ever wanted. I loved you so much. But now? You cut deeper than anyone ever could."

He looks at me, a tear rolling down his face.

"I am sorry", he whispers.

I am done hearing apologies.

"We're done, Caden. Call your deal officially off. You can go to Tessa now. I bet she'll be more than happy to have you back."

Caden snaps. And starts shouting: "I am not going back to Tessa, damn it. How could you ever think I'd go back to her when you're the one my heart beats for?!"

I can feel how tears want to break free and roll down my face but I stop them. He's not making this easier. But I'm not going to let him see me cry.

"Go away, Caden. It's the last time I'm asking you."

He makes no sign to leave. I tell him one last thing.

"If you ever loved me, you'd leave."

He swallows hard. And meets my eyes. He must have seen the damage he did in them, since he turns around to leave.

He's a few steps away from the door as he adds: "I love you, Broadway. I have always loved you. What began as a fake turned out the realest thing in my life. I will never stop loving you, Broadway. My heart is yours."

And with that, he opens the door and walks away.

And I remain crying on the floor.