Introduction

Part 3

Baby and I were sat out on the porch of the ranch. Yeah I'm still calling her baby.

"Right, sweetheart you two ready?" Rip said putting on his hat, with one hand in his pocket, as he climbed up the porch steps.

"Yeah, she's just finished this bottle."     Monica had lots of stuff all prepared for when John would arrive and then after it all happened she was meant to throw it all away but could never bring herself to do it. Kaycee helped her give me some of the bits, only a few things that she would have needed for the night.

"Alright. I've sent the others all off on their jobs today and they gotta report to Lloyd so I have a few hours to spare till I need to get out there and take over." He looped me in as he put on his sunglasses.

I stood up and and straightened my body up kissing him. His beard pricked my face each and every time but I love it and I love him. As I pulled away I tugged gently on his dark beard flashing a smile "Thankyou and don't worry we shouldn't be that long it's just into town."
I decided I wouldn't call social services but instead just go straight into town and sort this out and when I told Rip he offered to take me ... well because obviously I don't have car seat for baby. We'll go in Rip's truck, the safer idea.

Town wasn't too far away but the same time it wasn't close. Normally I am always in a rush to get to places so do tend to go somewhat over the limit some may say.
On our way down the dirt road to leave the ranch I notice Jamie driving up "What the fuck is he doing here?"

"I don't know Beth, what I do know is you have a baby in your arms who don't need to hear your mouth" he stuck out his finger.

My head stayed straight but I looked over to him raising my eyes in his direction to which he just chuckled.
"He's probably here for your father over some shit he's landed in."

I turned my body in towards his direction "You said about my mouth n look at you."
There wasn't much of a response unless you count him smiling and gently slapping my knee before resting his hand on my same thigh.

But why was Jamie here? Quicker I deal with this the quicker I can get back and sort that son of a bitch out.

——
"You want me to come up with you?" Rip asked turning the truck off.

"I won't be long all I ask is you go in that store and buy me some smokes as I left them."

"It don't take much to please you. I wish you luck little girl" Rip then whispered as he placed a hand on the baby's head.
"Love you baby" I said as I kissed him pulling his shirt to pull him over to me.
"Say that again." He grumbled. There was just something about his grumble that made me want to get down and - Beth there's a baby in your arms.
"I love you, baby" I winked as I got out the truck.

The amount of looks that were directed my way as I walked to town hall which was only a few steps away from where Rip had parked. They weren't friendly looks either.  First a smile would appear then after one look at baby, who was cradled in one of my arms, then me the smile would fade into an almost scowl. What was their fucking issue?
Maybe they thought I was her mother? Maybe they thought I had done this to her? She was clearly under-fed and she was just wrapped up however she looked she was still so beautiful.

Stood outside the town hall I watched people float in and out through the doors. Smiling faces, people walking out hand in hand, suits and smart outfits. But then there were those who held heart sick faces, alone, frustrated. Everyone was there for something, big or small it could change someone's life. With that in mind my head drifted down at baby. She had a whole life ahead of her but I would never know. Is what I'm doing the right thing? Letting her go, what sort of family would raise her. I know not everyone who offers their homes to these children are loving instead they are only involved for the money. The bench beside me sat a little bird and it's mother. It gazed up at me and for a moment I kept my eyes on it too. It was a robin the red colour on it's stomach was vibrant. For some reason looking at that bird gave me an idea that I may not have known was there deep down. Maybe I could give her a life. It may not be perfect but people will care for her.

There's something about her to which I can't just let go of. Maybe our meeting was meant to be.
She's the wild dream. The dream that never leaves me. My decision haunts me all those years ago. I didn't know them but I could know her. I never met them, they never existed but yet I know without a doubt I will always chase after them. I can't chase that dream, I can't change the past but I can change this little girls future. She needs me and I need her.

Without another thought I turned around heading back to the truck with baby nestled in to my arms. This time I will do it right. Thank-you for a second chance. 

Rip was sat back in the truck already when he saw me coming he opened his window.
"Beth..."

"I don't know who she could be going to. I may just hang onto her for a lil while longer. Are you okay with that?" I said not quite at the truck yet but was still in hearing distance ash I carried on walking towards him.

He shook his head with a smile "We don't give away strays round here, get in."
He switched on the engine now that I was in the truck.
"You're gonna need to name the poor girl." Rip laughed as he pulled out the spot to drive back to the ranch.

I looked down at baby and smiled at her, thinking back to the moment earlier I had a name for her.
"I'm thinking Birdie."