Where did I go wrong?

It's getting harder [Chapter 2]

Just breathe. Breathe, Ramlot. 

I couldn't. I suddenly felt out of breath.

The walls were closing in. My eyes went up to the ceiling. It was coming closer to me. I felt suffocated. Everything around me felt dim.

Blood pounded in my ears. My heart thudded in my chest. My hands shook. My feet tingled. I felt difficulty seeing. Everything around me was blurred and disfigured. 

This feeling wasn't new. Yet every time I got a panic attack, I wanted to grab a knife and end it all. But no, I must survive.

How though? It's becoming more and more difficult by the minute. 

Mom, I need you. Please come. 

Someone! Please! I am too scared to ask for help. I don't want to be dependent. Just find me yourself.

Hooper.

Hooper, where are you?

My heartbeat increased when I heard the door knob twist. Finally, somebody came. But, I look so miserable. My vision became even more and more disfigured by the minute. 

The last words I heard were my brother shouting my name.

End of Ramlot's P.O.V.

"Ramlot, you're awake! Darling, I was so worried about you." His mother's sweet voice entered his ears. But, instead of comforting him, it made him feel terrible. He was the eldest brother. He was supposed to look after his mother and his brothers. But, nothing like this was happening. He felt disappointed in himself. 

"Mom, I'm sorry." He couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears started brimming all over his face. 

"Oh no no. It's fine, baby. Nothing happened to you. What are you sorry for?" She knew how difficult it was for her children after Thomas' death.

Though Miranda didn't know why Ramlot felt sorry, deep down she could relate to him. 

It had been almost 3 months since her husband's death. Things were going downhill for them, not only emotionally but financially as well. She had to take several loans to live in a tiny apartment where they barely fit. 

She still didn't have a job. The loans were only enough to pay the kids' fees and buy necessities. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a bang on the door. A worried expression was now plastered all over her face. The aggression told her her landlord had visited to ask for the monthly rent which she hadn't been paying for 2 months.

"Hooper, darling, please take your brothers to the top floor. Mummy has some business to attend to." The young boy sighed. He knew what was happening but he spoke no word and moved obediently. 

The middle-aged lady looked back to make sure her kids were gone. 

She sighed, mentally preparing herself for the worst. Her hands shook as she grabbed the rusted door knob, feeling very hot all of a sudden. 

The door revealed a grumpy, old man. His mustache and his beard covered almost all of his face, yet she could see how angry he was. His strong gaze pierced through her scared eyes.

"IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS YOU DIPSHIT. I LET YOU GO LAST MONTH BUT I WON'T THIS TIME AROUND. YOU DO REALIZE THAT I HAVE KIDS TO FEED TO, DON'T YOU? NOBODY HAS TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR DRAMATIC ASS STORIES. PACK YOUR BAGS AND LEAVE WITHIN THE NEXT THREE DAYS."

Though Miranda was prepared for the worst, his words shattered her heart into a million pieces. Where was she going to go now?

"Yes, sir. I will leave tomorrow." Her eyes and her heart felt heavy. 

This was all too much for her to take in.

The last 3 months had been terrible for her. This just added to her wrath and sorrow.

NOTE:
THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD.

Thank you for reading. The chapters will be a little short so please excuse me.

If anything in these two chapters is incorrect or offensive, please make sure to point it out.

Once again, thank you beautiful human beings <3.