Deprived

Chapter 51 - Touch

Jesse smiled, for once not afraid or sick to his stomach. All he felt was a growing love, a craving and need for the respect that Xavier always offered him.

He knew he had a choice, was always given a choice. A voice that was heard and respected, not to be scoffed at or grumbled at if Jesse said no.

If he were to tell Xavier to stop touching him, Jesse knew the man would release him before he could blink.

And Jesse realized he didn't want Xavier to let go of him. Instead the young deprived wanted to be hugged, to be engulfed by the tender warmth and love that Xavier always provided.

His smile turned tearful when Xavier kissed the finger still against his lips before gently grabbing his hand and kissing that too.

A pleasant shiver ran up his spine and Jesse leaned back down, laying fully on Xavier once more.

He knew he was nowhere near ready to actually have sex. Perhaps he never would be, or maybe he needed to push himself step by step.

Not forcefully. But make an active choice to remove the old, traumatic memories and replace them with gorgeous, loving ones.

"How are you feeling?" A low rumble against his ear, soothing and drawing him to their position, the warmth that flowed in Jesse.

"I'm...I'm happy but scared." He confessed, licking his lips as Xavier's chest slowly rocked him with his steady breathing. "I want to do more, want to touch you, k-kiss you but-" Jesse shivered, blushing at his own words.

He couldn't quite put his worries to words, so he simply opened his mind to Xavier.

How he felt like he was a disappointment of a mate and partner. That Xavier must start to think Jesse was disgusted with him, always crying and flinching away if the Improba touched him.

And the self-loathing he felt, knowing he wanted to explore their bond sexually. Wanted to experience what it felt like to make love, to drown in the sensations they provoked in one another and not the filth that had been forced upon him.

But Jesse just didn't know where to start. After being an unwilling participant for so long, he had no clue to what he should do.

Or what he could handle.

Xavier chuckled softly, hair a mess and eyes glowing with tender kindness and a gentle heat that made Jesse shiver in the best way possible.

"You already know I don't think about you like that. You're an lovely and amazing individual, not a sex toy to be used for my convenience."

Knuckled brushed gently against his jaw, making Jesse lean into the touch as Xavier cupped his face. "As for the other thoughts... You can start wherever you want darling. Even simply kissing, making out to your comfort, would be more than I could hope for. As long as you remain comfortable."

Making out?

Jesse knew what it entailed, had seen it more than enough times at his former job. Yet he had never experienced it in the flesh, as James was set in the costumes of a bygone era.

Plus nobody cared about what Jesse wanted during his capture.

It was a new experience. A clean slate, waiting to create unfathomable memories.

His consent echoed through his mind before he could speak it and Xavier smiled but made no hurry to lunge forwards.

Instead, the man gently pinched Jesse's chin between his fingers and pulled him in closer.

And as he pressed the first, gentle kiss on Jesse's lips, he let his other hand gently stroke the young Deprived's back.

Slowly their lips melded together, pressing and releasing with panted breaths in between. A slight lick against his upper lip had Jesse shiver and pant as he felt Xavier's tongue gently beg for access.

His own tongue hesitantly copied the gesture, the sensation new and thrilling. It made his heart thump erratically, blood surging through his veins, pulling along pheromones in its wake.

Xavier took a deep inhale through his nose and groaned, gently using his hold on Jesse's face to angle it in just the right way.

The Deprived didn't know how long they spent kissing and gently touching one another. He only knew of the addictive sensation of Xavier's lips and tongue against his own, the seductive dance as it curled around his and the vibrant heat that emitted from Xavier's crotch against his own.

All he knew when they finally separated, both panting for air and wanting to do more but couldn't yet, was that this was the first best experience he had.

It was a memory he would cherish for his entire life.