Best For Last || Evan Peters AU

finality

      "You and Evan have each other's numbers, right?" 

   "Nah," Dante began sarcastically. "After five years of friendship, getting each other's numbers is a step we've yet to take."

   "Whatever," you threw a fry in his direction. "Well, I have kind of a stupid fun idea. Emphasis on stupid."

   He raised an eyebrow for you to continue as he dipped the thrown French fry in sauce.

   "What if I called him from your number? So he thinks it's you," you smiled like an idiot. This joke would last about two seconds before he realized it was you, and all the fun would be out of it... but you wanted to so bad. You quieted that nagging part of your mind that begged to hear Evan's voice again, and pretended even to yourself that you only wanted to pull a quick prank.

   "You for real?"

   You nodded with a carefree grin and shrug, and did a short, celebratory clap when Dante pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to you unlocked. 

   Since the two of you last saw each other at the Froyo shop, Evan had been texting you little encouraging or generally kind messages here and there. Reminding you to eat breakfast, telling you to have a good day, then sweet dreams later that night. You usually ignored them, or if anything would just heart react to the message. Ironically, it was painful to have him be so nice to you; you almost wished he'd give you more reason to hate him. This wasn't some petty argument you could easily forgive him for: he betrayed you at the lowest point in your life. His attempts to contact you gradually dwindled down as the months passed, though his friend requests still sat awaiting your response. 

   You scrolled through Dante's contacts, heart racing once you got to E and saw his name. You tapped the call button before rationality sunk in, and with every ring your stomach twisted a little more.

   "What's up?" Evan's calm voice came through the phone. You said nothing, only grinned up at Dante as if you'd pulled off some elaborate scheme. After a couple of your shaky and unfortunately conspicuous breaths, Evan spoke again. "Dude what are you doing?"

   You cleared your throat, "Hi."

   The line was silent, and then, "...Y/N?"

   His voice had instantly become more gentle, sad even. Your response came in a dispirited chuckle, "Yeah, it's me."

   "What--" he was obviously trying to decide what to ask first. "What's going on? Where are you?"

   "With Dante, just hanging out," you pushed the small remainder of fries away. "Thought it'd be funny to call from his phone."

   "Yeah," Evan was audibly smiling. "I'm really glad you did. What, what are you guys doing?"

   You told him you two were just snacking on greasy food and laughing about old times. The entire call, Evan's voice sounded like it would if he were allowed to call actual royalty: he sounded so grateful to be allowed to talk to you but so forlorn all at once. For the duration of that 30 minute call, you guys were just the best friends you always had been. You laughed about old inside jokes, discussed changes in TV shows and games you'd both liked, and caught each other up with anything and everything.

   At the end of one of your shared laughing fits, Evan muttered, "I miss you."

   The smile fell from your face and you closed your eyes. The elephant in the room had been addressed, and the whole mood changed.

   "And I you," you finally responded.

   "Y/N..." he said, his tone full of sorrow. "I tried calling, I hope you know I did; I'm so sorry about Sally."

   You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from crying and blinked rapidly to stop any tears before they could even form. "Yeah," you breathed. "I saw."

   You had seen his surfeit of messages on just about every platform possible: you ignored them. How could his condolences have been sincere? Would he have been so expressive of his sympathy had he not gotten caught falling in love with someone else? Was he still just trying to win you back?

   "I wanted to come to the funeral..." he continued. "I just, didn't know if you'd be okay with me coming."

   "Probably best that you didn't," you replied coldly. "I actually, should go. I'm supposed to be hanging out with Dante."

   "Well, no-- do you have to?" His desperate voice pulled at your heart a little, but you shut that feeling out.

   "Yeah, I do."

   "Okay, can you just do me one favor?"

   "Maybe. What?"

   "Well, you're at Dante's right?"

   You hummed a yes, and he began scrambling for things on the other end of the line, "Okay, when you get back to Drew's, check the old email we used to talk on in middle school."

   "What--? I haven't checked that thing in years."

   "I know," he sounded almost triumphant. "When you see it, if you don't respond, I'll leave you alone."

   You knew he was serious. You gulped at the permanence of that statement, and assured him you would before you two said your reluctant goodbyes. Dante told you that you guys were the corniest people he'd ever met, and that there's no way you wouldn't get back together.

   You were hopeful and doubtful.

\\

      Drew was out for groceries when you got back to her place, and you made a beeline right for the room she still dubbed 'the computer room.' Though they said it was the family computer, it was mostly Ben's. His PC whirred to life and lit up bright white as it turned on, taking its sweet old time as if it knew you were in a hurry. You couldn't imagine what Evan could have put in your old email, and you anxiously tapped your feet and fingers while scanning through the possibilities in your mind.

   Finally, it was on, and seconds later you were typing in your old password from 7 years ago. Lucky for you, you only used the same 3 on rotation. At the top of your inbox, there was his name with a tiny green circle next to it. You clicked the email, and saw messages starting from a few months ago all the way up until an hour ago.

Jul 2016 - Y/N...remember this old shit? Scroll up and look how dumb we were, haha. i realize i'm just writing into thin air but it still somehow releases something, like a journal that I know you'll never see. since i know you won't ever read this, i might as well say everything i feel.

Aug 2016 - i just heard the news... i have more love for you than you understand. more than i understand. i want to show and tell you everyday, but you justifiably hate me right now. i wish i would've told you more when we were together, maybe i damned us into things ending up like this.

Sep 2016 - it feels like years since i've heard your voice.

1h ago - we just got off the phone and i miss you so much. i'm still hoping for the best, that we aren't really over. i'm so glad i could make you laugh and we could just go back in time for a little while. baby, you are the love of my life and i still want to marry you someday. things are all fucked up right now but please know that you can still talk to me whenever. i will be here waiting, always. love, Evan

   Your cheeks were wet and the words on the screen were blurry. You went back and forth in your mind for what felt like an eternity. On one hand, there was nothing you wanted more than to run into his waiting arms and ignore everything, just pretend you were two entirely different people and start over. Was what he did really that bad? You missed him and he missed you. You loved him and he loved you.

   But sometimes that isn't enough, and the other hand wins.

   Your down payment for the Michigan roommate position was paid, you'd said all your goodbyes, and giving in now would only show him that what he did to you was behavior that you were willing to accept. It wasn't. You closed the email without a hint of a response.

  Once you packed up and left the state, he blocked you on everything.