Apex | Charles Leclerc

Chapter 77

There's no way I'm forgiving her and I'm definitely never going to forget about what she did. She and Manuele are the same. They both took away a choice that was only up to me– that should only ever be up to me. They think that just because they can, they should.

Well, that's not how life works.

You can't just take and take and take from the people you don't like. Everyone has their limits and every time you take something from them, it's ten times more difficult for them to get it back. Life isn't some wishing well that grants you every wish you make regardless of who will be affected by the consequences. Life is an endless line of dominos, with every thought and intention you have leading to an event that you can never take back.

I've had so many people do that to me and I watched helplessly as they ran me dry as if I was someone who could survive anything.

"I thought you and Manuele were really together." She said and I scoffed, watching in satisfaction as she became even more uncomfortable under my gaze. "I was in Monza for the race and I saw the two of you talking. I snapped the photos of you just standing there and left immediately, planning to show it to Charles but I couldn't find him. The next time I saw him, I found out you guys were already living together."

"So, what? You just decided to keep the photo for future blackmail?"

"Please believe me when I say that I forgot about the photo." She pleaded, but I didn't tear my eyes away from her. "I didn't– I didn't know that he–" Rose couldn't even say it and I let out a sigh, shaking my head in disappointment as I stood up.

"That he raped me?" I finished for her and her lips snapped shut.

"I didn't know." She whispered, looking down at her shoes.

"I don't blame you for that." I said and she lifted her head, looking at me with wide eyes. "That's on Manuele and I can't blame you for staying long enough to help me because none of that is your fault."

"Thank you, Nadia." She said as she gave me a small smile. Her face showed relief as she set down the box she was holding.

"But that doesn't mean I don't blame you for something else. Do you even know what that night did to me? Rose, it's one of the things that pushed me to get therapy and I know I will never fully heal from that. Then you come in and fuck up my life once again. What you did last week was unforgivable and you better be happy that I'm not suing you for defamation because let's face it, that's a loss for you before you even call a lawyer." Rose opened her mouth to speak and I raised my hand, silencing her. "You know what else is disappointing? You haven't even apologized for what you did, even thinking that Charles would be delusional enough to believe the lies you put out there."

"Nadia, you have to understan–"

"There is nothing to understand. Never in my life have I met someone stupid enough to do those kinds of things. If you're here for forgiveness, then I'll get ahead of you and say that you don't have it. You will never get it." I sat back down and pulled my laptop back in front of me, not giving a fuck if she was crying in front of me. "Close the door behind you and take whatever that is with you. I prefer food that's not made by people who have no respect for others."

*****

August 08, 2028 - Turkey

"Why is your hand sweaty?" I asked Charles as I held it with my own.

We arrived in Antalya this morning, checking into a hotel straight from the airport. Mrs. Yilmaz offered to host us for the few days we were spending here, but I respectfully declined. I did say that we were going to stop by, but I don't have it in me to sleep meters away from our old house.

Since it was summer, a lot of people were heading to the beach and we planned early enough to get a room in one of the hotels that were surely fully booked by now.

I tried to persuade Charles to let me drive since I knew the place better, but he only shook his head at me before taking the keys to the rental car we booked. Of course, the car we had to rent was a Mercedes because having a Formula One champion drive a car that doesn't have his team's logo would cause rumors to arise once again.

"Because I'm about to meet your family. What if they don't like me?" He asked, turning to the last corner before the cemetery came into view.

"I'm sure they already love you." I reassured him, tapping my hand with his. "Besides, if they didn't, they would've made it known." I smirked and he slapped my thigh before intertwining his fingers with mine again. 

"Okay, we are having the apartment blessed when we get back."

"Shut up."

He parked the car and the two of us got back, Charles opening the boot to take out the flowers we bought before heading here. Originally, I was only planning on buying white lilies, just like how I did when I was last here.

But Charles had other ideas.

Aside from the lilies, Charles bought three separate flower arrangements that were filled with hydrangeas. He specifically asked if the store had purple hydrangeas and smiled when the owner nodded her head.

"Why purple?" I asked him as we walked towards my family, the two of us holding the flowers. It was already around five in the afternoon so the heat wasn't as intense as earlier. Charles shrugged his shoulders, choosing not to answer me, but the blush on his cheeks told me that there was a reason why he chose that specific color. "Charles."

He sighed in defeat before he stopped walking, squeezing my hand as he glanced at the three headstones in the distance. "It's for admiration. I never got to meet them and I would've loved to if things had gone differently. I admire your parents for raising a woman as amazing as you, Nadia. Along with Esma, I admire them for showering you with love before I had the privilege of doing so."

"You're going to make me cry before we even see them." I said and Charles smiled, pulling me close to plant a kiss on my forehead.

"That's okay. I'll be with you the entire time."

I tightened my hold on Charles' hand as we knelt in front of my family's graves. Three small pots had been placed beside their headstones filled with flowers that I'm sure Mrs. Yilmaz paid to be maintained.

I sat down as Charles placed the flowers next to the small pots before sitting down beside me. I leaned my head on his shoulder, my thumb brushing against the silver ring I began wearing again.

Honestly, I didn't know what to say. In the movies, I'd always see the leads talking to their loved ones who passed away to update them about their life. I never saw myself doing that because I always thought they were aware of everything that happened to me– be it the good or the bad.

Being here with them was enough for me. To see their names and know that I was closer to them than I had ever been in the past three years brought back the grief that I always carried with me, but this time it felt different.

Usually, the grief I would feel was filled with pain and guilt, knowing that I could have done something to prevent what happened to them. But now, the grief I felt was more inclined to how much I missed them and their physical presence in my life.

I think this was the reason why up until now, I haven't talked to Estelle about my family. It was because before today, I blamed myself for losing them when in reality, I don't think they ever really left me.

On the surface, grief is what you feel when you suffer the loss of a loved one. Beyond that, it was realizing the fact that you will never really lose the people you hold close to your heart. You may not see or feel them, but they are always there.

Wherever you are, I am with you. Wherever I am, you are with me. 

*****

Who's ready for this story to end? 

✧Reese✧