Apex | Charles Leclerc

Chapter 67

"But I want to share something." I replied and she nodded her head. Another thing I noticed about Estelle was that she didn't take any notes. The only thing on the table was a plate of croissants and two cups of coffee for the two of us. Estelle's eyes brightened as she gestured for me to continue. "I— I have a tendency of not asking for help. I've gotten used to being independent that I think I can do most of the things on my own." I bit my lip and looked down at my fingers, feeling the heaviness begin to form in my chest. "That night in Monza when...when I was sexually assaulted." I gulped, deciding not to use the other word because I don't have it in me to say it out loud. "I wish I could've told Charles back in the club. Or Mick. Or Kika. Maybe if I did—"

"Nadia," Estelle interrupted me, causing me to look up and meet her eyes. "What makes you think you didn't ask for help that night?"

"Because I did it all alone. I went through all of it alone."

Estelle shook her head and leaned back, eyes analyzing me. "Only you didn't." I scrunched my eyebrows at her, not knowing where this conversation was going. "You went to the hospital that same night, correct?" She asked and I nodded my head. "And what did you do as soon as you arrived?"

"I told them to give me an exam." I said lowly, closing my eyes as flashes of images of me lying down on an exam table appeared in my mind. That was the most invasive thing I've ever done in my life. To be open and vulnerable like that in front of strangers after such a difficult night? It felt like hell.

"You asked for help." Estelle emphasized and she stood up, bringing her empty coffee cup with her. "It doesn't matter who you go to. It doesn't have to be someone you're close to. You're proof enough that as long as you know within yourself that you need help, you can get it. You were strong enough to ask for it, immediately as a matter of fact. There are a lot of people who aren't ready to do that." She gave me a reassuring smile before placing the cup on a tray that was sitting by her desk, filled with a mixture of coffee and tea. "I think that's all for today."

"But we still have twenty minutes." I said, glancing at the clock, but I was already standing.

"Yes, but you shared more than I expected to on the first day." I grabbed my purse and Estelle led me to the door. Before she could open it, she turned to me once again. "I know it's never been a problem for you, but I'd like for you to stay away from alcohol in the meantime. You told me you used it a little too much back when you moved to Monaco?" I nodded my head. "Self-medication with alcohol and drugs isn't a good mix for someone learning how to deal with PTSD. It tends to heighten our emotions and I imagine yours are already skyrocketing to the roof."

"More like the moon." I smirked, feeling a bit more at ease as she chuckled.

"See you next week." She smiled before leading me out the door.

Charles was sitting in the waiting room, AirPods in his ears as he watched something on his phone. He was clearly uncomfortable on the chair he was sitting on since he kept on moving around, trying to find a better position. A black cap was placed over his head and his face was almost being swallowed by the oversized hoodie he was wearing.

I tapped his head before taking the seat beside him. I don't even know how he lasted more than five minutes sitting on it because this piece of furniture shouldn't be allowed to exist. He looked up and smiled upon seeing me, taking off his AirPods and slipping them into his pocket.

"How was it?" He asked, placing an arm on the back of my chair as he turned his body towards me.

I shrugged my shoulders and took a deep breath. "I didn't speak for the first half hour, but Estelle says I did well. I spent the last ten minutes talking to her about Monza." Charles visibly tensed and I placed a hand over his arm, assuring him that I was okay. "Not about that exactly."