Lost In-between

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By the time Ixora had reached Genya's quarters, the door was bolted shut. She shouldn't have been surprised and yet, she felt a little hesitant now, knowing this was a clear demand to be left alone. But then she thought of the many nights she'd spent by herself, battling the darkness within her and smiling sunnily to her mother the next morning.

She at least had to try.

"Genya...? I... I know we haven't seen each other properly in some time. Not such a great period but... Enough to cause cracks when you haven't been friends for too long. If you even consider me that. I... I don't know whether I'm welcome or not. But if you do want to let someone in... Why not a person you hardly know? Sometimes, it is easier to pour out your heart to a stranger. And I only want to make you feel lighter."

Silence. Ixora was about to continue when the door swung open, revealing a gorgeous red-haired creature with glistening eyes. "My... Even when you sob, you are beautiful."

"Oh, stop. Don't pity me."

"I'm not. I'm just- I'm stunned... Here. I'll prove it," Ixora whispered when she noticed the faraway expression on the woman's face. She took her hand and pressed it to her chest, locking eyes with her. Genya felt her accelerated heartrate and flushed, taking a step back and giving further access into her room. Even then, Ixora wasn't sure whether it was alright or not. Carefully touching her chin, she put on a smile to hide her worry and asked, "would you like a hug, conversation or space? These are all genuine offers. Whatever may help."

"I... I have had too much space. The first one. Please."

"Alright, then." Ixora took her in her arms. Genya felt small this way, shuddering like a lamb and yet, her strength remained intact. There was beauty in the fierceness she held inside and Ixora found herself relieved that her courage burned brightly enough for her to not fully give in to grief.

"I am in awe of you, Tailor."

"And I of you, zowa." Ixora felt her heart thud in her chest and knew at once that her lingering feelings for the slightly smaller woman were beginning to return. It made her smile, despite everything, that Genya was willing to let her be there at all. They hardly knew each other, it was true but they shared a connection. Perhaps because they both knew all too well what it was like to feel powerless in the world and out of control over their lives. The trauma of the feeling that they were nothing binded them, somehow.

"I'm very happy to be in this ball with you, gentle one but tell me... Why the distance? Why so much space all this time? I- I've needed y- I mean, I w-would have liked to- if- I wanted to get to know you a bit better."

Genya swallowed and shook her head softly, wishing away the thought that perhaps Ixora meant that in any sense other than platonic. "I... Well... I'm sorry. It's just- David. It's David's birthday and I- he's gone and there's nothing- I have nothing to give him f-for it. I've been so busy that it slipped my mind until the last minute... I always used to work so hard on his gift. And he always loved it so much. He treated everything I ever made him with such gentle reverence - and he cared for me the very same way."

"I see," Ixora muttered softly, her eyes twinkling. Genya hurriedly wiped her eyes, trying to shake away the feelings pouring out of her.

"I apologise. You do not want to hear this- any of it. Your Tsar is in quite the situation-"

"As is my Tailor. I can care for you both, can I not?"

Could she? Genya felt her face flame, refusing to meet Ixora's eyes. The Zemeni was slightly amused by this but held her even closer regardless, her soft chuckles ringing across Genya's skin in waves. Ixora waited patiently for her heart to cool, gently playing with her hair all the while.

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