A Frigid Feast

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"Take off your tunic."

"But it's chilly! I could die from the frost-"

"Frost?! Winter was ages ago! Why are you being stubborn about this?!"

"If you want to have some fun sans clothing, you're going to have to ask me a little nicer, Ixora."

She stared at him. Nikolai was beginning to feel uncomfortable, his confidence slipping as perspiration began to soak his forehead the more the pain worsened. And then, suddenly, she had lunged at him, ripping at his clothes. This would have been such a wonderful scenario if he only had nothing to hide. He tried to fend her off but she fought back, frustrated tears building in her eyes when he began to wince more visibly.

"I... Won't... Stop... Until... I... Do This! Let go of me! Unhand me, you idiot, I need to help you! I won't let you go until you let me help you, I-" He drew her into his chest. And she acquiesced, allowing her heartbeat to cool... Once she was certain his had calmed as well, she snuck her fingers to the collar of his shirt, tugging at it as he pushed her away from him.

She'd done it, thanks to all the buttons she'd mangled off in the process of their tussle. But her triumph was short-lived. Nikolai's chest was a map of dark, nightmarish agony. Ixora let her eyes drift all across his skin, taking him in back and front, her eyes dewing up the more she looked. Yet, she couldn't stop. And he couldn't bring himself to conceal things anymore.

It felt almost like a relief. She finally knew.

But then she got up, whispering something about getting help and he immediately knew that he'd been wrong. He tightened his grip on her arm, ignoring the harsh smacks she brandished on his hold with some effort. The desperation in his eyes coaxed her to stillness, her mind searching for some sort of explanation for the gravity of the suffering her king was going through.

"All this... All on your own... How long?"

"It's okay, Ixora... Please don't cry."

"It's killing you! I don't know what it is but it's clearly killing you!"

"Just until the threat is done. Please. It's the Darkling... One of his... Beasts decided to preserve itself using my body. I'm not as strong a host so yes, I am failing a bit faster than he had, falling softly and slowly into insanity all the way but this will not last forever. I swear. I just need it till the threat is over... To... To keep you safe-"

"Me?! You just want power! Fucking power! And the Darkling's?! After everything he did to this nation, after he ruined Ravka, you would still choose his curse over your own life?!"

"I... Do you remember... The coronation?"

"Don't."

"I thought you were dead, Zora. Can you imagine what that felt like for me-"

"Do not pretend that you would allow the power of merzost to destroy your body simply because you care for me. It is so much more than that because if you truly did do this for me, you would know I would rather die than watch you suffer. You know this."

"Fine. Okay. I didn't mean to make this seem like it's your fault. All the blame is mine. I was in the wrong place, wrong time when this thing made me its home but I could've asked for Alina to use the Neshyenyer blade a long time ago and end its stay. I did not. I could not. I thought... I thought it best-"

"You thought wrong."

"Just... Wait. Wait, love. Please." His hold on her wrist was faint but there, nonetheless. And Ixora couldn't bear the thought of leaving him in pain. The way it looked made her fear he might die at any moment. She hadn't been afraid of death since she was a child but here it was again, quite suddenly. She could hear her mother's voice lulling her to calm as she taught her what death meant for the first time, the day Ixora asked where her father was.

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