Broken Soldier

Doubled

I was kicking around, trying to get out of the mans grip. My face was covered with a bag, and I was being dragged to God knows where. My kidnapper wouldn't speak, and kept tightening his grip. Eventually, another man came and grabbed my legs so they were carrying me. My screams became muffled because of the bag over my head, but I wouldn't give up the fight.

I was placed in a cold metal chair, and my hands and feet were bounded with chains. As hard as I tried, the chains wouldn't budge. Okay Bucky, you can get out of here. Get your bearings and you're home free. Except, oh wait, I can't get my bearings cause of this damn bag.

Calloused hands touched my hair, but immediately slapped me across the face. I growled at them, and continued to fight at my restraints.

The bag was ripped off my head, and my eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the bright lights. When they came too, Sam and Dean were right in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I yelled angrily, trying to free myself. With no avail.

"Aw poor Hyland. You thought we loved you. Didn't you? Ha. That's funny. You're nothing more than dirt. You shouldn't be alive. My dear Hyland, you're worthless." Sam spat at me.

Hearing those words come from his mouth left me frozen. Sam would never say that to me. The brothers smirked when they saw that I stopped fighting against the restraints. Dean punched me in the jaw, which brought me back to reality. I glared at him, and all he did was laugh.

"Why don't we teach her some manners, Sammy. Let's try my favorite technique." Dean said, overjoyed.

The bag was placed back over my head, and tightened to make sure it didn't come off while I was thrashing. I knew what was coming next, and it scared me to death. The worst part of my torture with Hydra was coming back, again. I could hear running water, and footsteps going away, and coming closer again.

I got prepared for the worst, and the worst came. The water was poured over my head, and I could feel it going to my lungs. It hurt to breathe, but I couldn't cry out. Because if they're acting like Hydra, they'll make the torture worse.
So I just endured the pain, as best as I could.

"This isn't enough, let's kick it up a notch." Sam whispered in my ear.

He took of the bag, and I sputtered out excess water. Sam bowed to my height, and got right next to my ear.

"Should've been more careful princess." He whispered ever so gently.

His body thrusted forward, and a searing white pain erupted in my chest. I looked down, and my eyes looked back up at him. His eyes were black, and so were Deans. I mumbled something incoherent, and my head fell forward.

~

I awoke with a start, and I started thrashing around in my bed. Trying to get out of the imaginary chains. As soon as I got my bearings, I knew it was all just a nightmare. I placed my hand on my chest, and there was no knife there.

I fell back on the bed, and tried to control my breathing. It's okay Buck, it was just a dream. Sam and Dean would never hurt you. Relax.

I knew there was no going back to sleep, so why not head out for a walk. It was only three fifteen in the morning. So the brothers shouldn't be up for another three hours. Enough time for me to clear my head, come back, take a shower, and pretend I was never gone. I kept Sam's sweatshirt on, but threw on my combat pants, and a pair of running shoes. I snuck quietly out of my room, and took out of the inn. In the marines, we would run eight miles every single morning. So a five mile jog should be nothing.

That dream kept hitting me straight on though. Sam would never hurt me. Right? I mean, I can totally take him and Dean down easily. But I don't want to hurt him. When Hydra took my emotions, I felt nothing. And then when they gave them back, I still really didn't feel anything. Because I didn't know what I was feeling for. If that makes sense. I didn't know how to feel. And my military family helped as best they could, and I got a good start. I know what happiness is, and I know anger.And I know when I'm scared or upset. Other than that, I'm still figuring out everything else. But, I feel something foreign when I'm with Sam. I don't know what it is. But my heart accelerates when I see him sometimes, and my stomach gets tight. I just don't remember what feeling that is.